Raising Perfect Kids ROFLOL!

I really enjoy when someone comes up to my wife or me and tell us how great (incredible, awesome, respectful, mature, caring, etc.) our children are. Even now as they get older (39), 24, 20 and 19, folks just seem to love our kids.

Of course, I’d have to be a bloomin’ idiot to believe them especially since I’ve LIVED with my kids. That in itself, gives me a more guarded estimation of their alleged ‘special-ness’.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that each of them is not loved and appreciated BUT how they got to what the rest of the world sees has been an interesting ‘experiment’ to say the least. I say ‘experiment’ because I’m not arrogant enough to take credit for anything my children have accomplished.

My wife and I attempted to apply all of the principles of sound parenting but the ‘end product’ is always a surprise. And our abundance of or lack of ‘faith’ determined how stressed out we are during the parenting ‘experiment’.

So here then is an essay my son wrote in 2008 in response to the assignment-- ‘Discuss a situation that posed a significant challenge for you, how you handled the situation and what you learned’.

Challenges make me stronger. This is something I learned early on in life. Not just physical strength but mental, emotional and spiritual strength is developed as well. The stronger are better equipped for the storms of life and I guess you could say for the rigors of college. Thinking back on my life so far, there have been defining moments that have sculpted me into the stronger man I am today. Different challenges develop different strengths. A tough sports practice made me stronger physically; a tough exam made me tougher mentally; a loss of a friend made me emotionally stronger and a test of faith made my spirit stronger. I’ll tell you about a challenge that made me stronger in many ways and made me a better man, made me a more honest man.

My father is a respectful man; who happens to be very creative and strict, just not traditional creativity or strictness. Let’s just say he creates interesting punishments for whatever I do wrong. Several summers ago my father was given the opportunity to use this creativity in discipline towards me. I told a lie. I might not have thought it was a big lie, but honesty is something very important to my family. So the consequences were to be severe. The lie was found out by my father one evening. I was sent to bed immediately and told that any plans I had for the next day were officially cancelled. Little did I know that the next day would shape up to perhaps the biggest nightmare and also a true blessing in disguise.

I was woken up at 8 a.m. the following morning which was outrageously early for the summer time. I was told to go jump in the pool as a substitute for a shower. When I got back inside the house, I was ordered to my room again, where I found a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of water. Shortly after finishing breakfast, I found myself in my backyard with my father, a shovel and a pickaxe. My father had consulted with some friends the night before on how to punish me and had decided on hard labor. Inspired by the recent blockbuster movie HOLES, he thought that having me dig a 5x5 hole in the back yard would be the perfect punishment. Five feet deep, five feet wide, all the way around. I thought to myself that this would be a relatively easy punishment and that I would be done and free by lunchtime. Oh, I was so wrong.

My town should have been named Boulder; it was named Rockaway instead, still a very appropriate name. There is a very deep truth in that name. No matter what you do, the rocks always get in the way. As I began to dig, I quickly realized how many rocks were actually there. Now with nothing but the sound of flying dirt and the occasional clank of my shovel on a rock, I had relative quiet. This task gave me an extended time of solitude to reflect on what I had done. I finally realized after several hours of moping that I had done wrong, and I had to own up to it. I had to pay the consequences.

After hours of endless digging and apparently getting nowhere, I had a quick lunch break, oatmeal again, and I was back at it. Now digging, unlike many people think, is an education all in itself. You learn a lot when digging. You learn the easiest movements to conserve your energy; you learn the angles of how to pry; you learn how to use your entire body. You also learn how to use your mind, how to analyze. Trust me when you’re digging for hours, you don’t want to take one extra swing of that pick or make one extra scoop with that shovel. Every movement is a necessity, not one calorie is wasted with an errant jerk, pull, or swing.

As I dragged myself through that day, deeper and wider into that crusty soil, I encountered the hardest part of my work. Every scoop I had to throw the dirt higher, every stone lifted out had to be lifted to a new height. I suddenly realized something; digging was exactly like life. The deeper you get in a hole, the harder it all gets. The deeper you get in a lie, the harder it all gets. You have to remember that lie, so you can formulate new lies to make the pieces of the puzzle fit together so you’re not found out. I realized being honest would just make my life simpler and easier in general.

I dug for the rest of that day, had a quick oatmeal dinner and was back in that hellish hole. I ended up finishing the job at around ten o’clock at night with the assistance of a spotlight. My lesson had been learned. And I was stronger from it. I had pushed the limits physically, mentally and emotionally. I learned many lessons that day but the most important was that honesty makes life much easier. Challenges have made me stronger. – Russ ‘Buddy’ Jones

Now before you call the Division of Youth and Family Services to report my parental ‘cruelty’ please take note- I put ample Protein Powder in each serving of Oatmeal and I never actually hit him with the shovel or pick axe AND you can’t take him from me- he already left (well he’s away at college). :D

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

Your friend (iC),
Russell Jones