High School Reunion Time

My High School is having a 40 year reunion in 10 days. I haven’t been to one yet. It’s time to get ready. Weehawken, New Jersey has the best view of New York City. My hometown didn’t have a High School so we got bussed to Weehawken.

My old friend Mario Perillo would always quote ‘Vanity is all!’. I would always laugh but now as the reunion looms, it is a serious matter. What is reflected back by my mirror is not really a natural progression of aging.

At times it scares the bejeezus out of me. Love handles? Mine could give a family of 5 something to hold on to! But I have time to prepare to meet up with my classmates.

1^st I’ll deal with the illusion of a chiseled frame by centering my outfit around the color Black and accessorize with Big Bling to further distract the eye. Next, I’ll restrict my carb intake to cut a pound a day—10 pounds in 10 days. But I’ll be careful to hydrate since the dreaded ‘turkey neck’ would be humiliating.

Hair is always an issue- should I do the Grecian cover up, go chrome, or au natural? Hydrate around the eyes? (I’ll hide my reading glasses unless I REALLY need them.) No facial hair- the Fu Manchu I used to grow now comes in white, makes me look like an old hippie biker dude (and that couldn’t be the me everyone will remember, right?).

If I get my teeth whitened, they might look like a new set of Dentures!

I know that some will consider wearing some tight spandex around the gizzard but I worry about how that might play out. If it pushes the fat up, I might look like I’ve grown some breast-is! If it pushes the fat down, I might have to turn sideways to get my butt through the doorway! Borrowing an old fashioned girdle might push the whole mess even lower and my rubbing thighs would cause sparks when I walk!

This vanity thing takes up a lot more time & energy than I’m willing to give. Sorry Mario, I’m different. I’m just gonna be me-- nothing more, nothing less.

When I meet my old mates, I won’t embellish history with wild exaggerations about the ‘good old days’. I promise not to point to my world-changing accomplishments and how fantastic my children have turned out (well, they REALLY have ya know).

I’ll greet folks with enthusiasm and refrain from saying ‘You look marvelous! You haven’t changed a bit…’

Truth be told I’ve totally changed since high school. The outer change is really minimal when compared to the Tremendous Inner changes that have occurred.

So I guess when I attend the Weehawken High School Class of 1971 40 Year Reunion it won’t really be a reunion at all. My physical image might remind people of someone they once knew but the old me is long gone, just a memory. From my vantage point, it will be an occasion to see if there are any New Friends out there. Hoping it’s a fun time J.

PS- Bill Giorgio has been working out for the last 10 years to get in shape for this… I still think 10 days is enough time for me. (jkjkjk… I saw him last year and he is ‘jacked’… must be that clean livin’ in Colorado)