Hopefully, we all want the best for our children. The ‘best’ can interpreted many different ways. What you think is the ‘best’ for your child might not be what I consider ‘best’.
And as parents we bring our own values, experiences and prejudices to the table which can really help a kid or really screw one up.
When it comes to sports, I have had more opportunities than most to mess up my kid’s athletic careers. As an ex-athlete as many dads and moms are, I had the perspective that I was eminently qualified to coach and teach my children EVERYTHING there is to know. Of course everyone that ever played a game, listens to sport’s talk radio, watches ESPN and has attended a sport’s safety course feels that they are just as qualified.
Over the years, I have had many opportunities to work with my kids in sports. While ALL of my intentions have been good, sometimes the results have not (I know that probably surprises you- :D).
My 3 oldest have had the chance to experience many different levels of sport- College Basketball, HS- Football, Basketball, Baseball, Track & Field. We’ve had Captains and County Champions and 1st Team All-Whatevers. But I always felt that I had let my kid’s down when it came to the ‘best’ possible way to PREPARE.
To me, Preparation is key because it’s something you can control and something, once you learn it, that can be applied to many areas of life. Preparation can be a problem though since most kids just want to play and are not mature enough to even grasp the concept of Prepping. And even if they are willing to Prepare, what system will you give them?
You cannot rely on the coaches. Most (the vast majority) are game strategists only. Some are able to inspire- which is a huge bonus.
Now if the coaches actually told you that they REALLY do not know the best way to prepare physically, you would save a whole lot of time and frustration. But they give your kids workouts or tell them to run or send them to a gym or a weight room.
And we parents get all bent out of shape when our kids do not perform to a level anywhere near their potential. Many of us blame the coaches or even the kids themselves for this ‘failure’.
But it’s NOT the coach’s fault. And it’s NOT your child’s fault. (With all things being equal, in that your child truly WANTS to succeed) It’s YOUR fault if they fail. I mean I truly believe that ANY kid who wants to earn a varsity letter can- just maybe not in a particular sport.
This brings me to my Experiment- my youngest son. I was running out of my own kids to train. Russ ‘Buddy’ Jones was my last chance. And he was and is a Challenge- in so many ways. But sharing in his Victories has been awesome.
My son loves baseball. I mean he really loves it. He loves playing it, watching it, umping it and talking about it. From birth he was destined to play for the Yankees- Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Mantle, Jeter, and Jones.
He loves the feel of a bat in his hands. He’d practice his swings everywhere- on the field, in the driveway, in the living room, in his bedroom. Always tweaking and adjusting his stroke or his stance.
And if he couldn’t play baseball, he would grab the kid next door to play wiffle ball in our front yard. They played from spring until the 1st snow every year for at least 10 years. They only stopped last year when my son was 18. The grass will still not grow around home plate and the pitcher’s mound.
Buddy played on baseball teams during the spring, summer and fall. But he swung his bat just about every day of the year. He wasn’t always the most teachable kid and I never wanted to push a sport on him so he taught himself a lot.
Since he was one of those kids who physically matured late, he was never looked upon as ‘athletic’ (whatever that means). This meant that he was never picked for the ‘elite’ teams. But he hung in there and was blasting home runs out of the big ball parks by the time he was 13.
But the ‘politics’ of local baseball was starting to wear on him and many times the ‘fun’ was taken out of the game. When he was a sophomore in high school he got cut from the JV team and I started to believe that maybe he was just not good enough. He took it hard but continued to play on whatever teams he could hook on with.
So I took my son to see an old friend who at one time was the head scout for the Chicago White Sox- Major League Baseball. On the side, he asked me, ‘Do these stupid )&)(*&%%$!#@ high school coaches know who this kid’s father is?’ I assured him that no one where I lived knew anything about me in sports- especially from back in the old days.
He put my son through almost 3 hours of drills in every aspect of baseball. He conferred with his assistant and then walked over to. ‘You’re kid’s getting screwed’, he whispered. I think we all have some doubt when it comes to objectively evaluating our own children-and not just in sports.
Driving home my thoughts went from anger toward those who treated my son poorly to frustration since I think I was kind of hoping that the evaluation would be poor and we could all move on with our lives.
What would you do? I know children around the world face much more severe issues than being cut from a baseball team but those kids don’t live in my house. We talked, we counseled, we prayed, we changed schools.
Well let’s put it this way, we didn’t change schools just because of baseball but that greatly contributed to the decision. Crazy to some but looking back it worked out pretty good. Although NOT in baseball- his new school had a very good team. As a junior, my son batted 2nd and played the outfield on the jayvee squad. As a senior, he had a shot to play the outfield on varsity or possibly be the Designated Hitter.
BUT after all these years of Baseball practice and games and loving the game, he chose not to go out for the team. AFTER ALL that he had gone through, he decided to NOT play. I could not believe my ears.
PAUSE- I have to stop here- finish next time :D. AND I will get to ‘cardio’ as well.
As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...
Your friend (iC),
Russell Jones
PS- Please visit us at the http://www.powerworkshop.org/ and http://www.arpwavenj.com/ to see what’s new.
Copyright, the Power Workshop Inc., 2005
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