Is cancer EVER good?

Not from my perspective. Can good things come out of the experience? I think so but WOW you really have to look for the GOOD THINGS.

Lin, my wife of 30 years, was diagnosed with cancer on April 28^th of this year. We are told its very early stage and very treatable. No one in her family ever had cancer.

Our daughter was getting married on May 22^nd so we decided not to announce it to the world. It would only take away from the great celebration. So we prepared for the wedding and the start of chemotherapy and radiation that would commence on Monday May 24^th.

Even though it seems that just about every family in America has experienced someone close having cancer, I was shocked. I’ve had people around me battle with cancer but it was never my battle. This one is! We’ve been together so long it truly feels as if 2 has become 1! (I know you might not find that in ‘math made ez’).

Thank God we know some knowledgeable folks in the medical field. They helped us navigate but it still was not easy. Get the right cancer Doctor, hope the protocol works the way it should, have a port implanted in your chest, hope the chemotherapy people are experienced and NICE, hope you get the right radiation Doctor, hope the radiation staff has good aim, load up on prescriptions for pain-for nausea-for sleep-for your skin (‘see which one works best’-shrug :(), make 6 weeks of daily appointments in advance, postpone some appointments when your body just can take the ‘cure’ anymore, and through it all keep the ‘WANT TO LIVE’ alive.

Our 1^st visit to the Simon Cancer Center was quite illuminating. The mix of patients was complete- young to old, skinny to fat, short to tall, way-out-of-shape to in-shape, all colors, all genders (I only know of 2).

What the hell was my wife doing here? We’re flippin’ Health Nuts! We buy natural, healthy foods and have a big vegetable garden in the summer. We take supplements- anti-oxidants even. No artificial flavors or colors, no preservatives, no sugar, no chemicals- we try to do it right (except when we don’t :( ). We lead active lives- vigorous activity. Getting plenty of fresh air and keeping a positive attitude round out how we live.

Okay maybe we get stressed out from time to time and maybe we worry a bit but is cancer the punishment for struggling when life is a bit un-manageable?

Maybe Lin got cancer because we grew up in a toxic area of the country or because we didn’t have any real ventilation in the bar we had back in the 80’s or because of acid rain that falls on us from Pittsburgh or because she stands too close to the microwave or from breathing too many exhaust fumes during traffic jams going into New York City or down the Jersey shore- I don’t know! Who does?

We had bought into the promises of having a Healthy Lifestyle. ‘Add more years to your life and more life to your years.’ Is Jack LaLanne-the Godfather of Fitness- a fraud? Jack’s brother lived to be 97 and I don’t know if he ate ‘right’ or even exercised. Do we really need a freakin’ juicer if cancer comes anyway?

I realize that no one gets off this planet alive (except for a few space cadets:)) but life is more than a bit unpredictable.

So after 2 full weeks of 24-hour IV chemotherapy, 30 radiation sessions (4 more to go), going bald, and losing over 20 pounds from a normal of 117, here then are the most positive things I can think of….

-Our children overcame the shock and ‘stepped up’ big-time. Lin and I are so proud to have children who (at least during crisis) actually ‘get it’. Krissy cleaned, cooked, shopped, ran errands and sat with her Mom on the nights she couldn’t sleep because of the pain.

-When he was in town, Buddy contributed like no other time in his life- yard work, house work, wedding prep, and he was a prayer warrior.

-And our newlywed made extra visits home and encouraged her Mom (and me!) daily with prayers and conversations.

-Lin’s friends that she dances with at Church were like the Marines. They were the first to find out and they volunteered and prayed and encouraged and visited.

-After the 1^st month when Lin was really in rough shape, some other folks from Church found out and it was like the Army, Navy and Air Force combined- the Driving Force was Lynn Beattie. Fantastic meals every other day, rides to her treatments, more prayers and even visits from our Senior Pastors- Dr. David and Marlinda Ireland- which encouraged Lin greatly.

-Lin learned how to ‘receive’. Her life has been dominated by her ‘giving’. From caring for me and our children to long term care of some family members to her career as a nurse, she was never the one getting care. Methinks we all need to experience both.

-And we got to have visitors without having to have the house ‘perfect’- everything dusted, vacuumed, mowed, cleaned, polished, etc…. Lin was so sick she didn’t care. I hope she noticed that the folks coming to see her CAME TO SEE HER and not to give our home a ‘white glove test’.

Great News came last week when she was examined by the Oncologist and he declared her cancer-free and that a biopsy in 2 months would prove it.

Thanks to everyone for all the love and support.

We even had 2 very accomplished, very professional people put it all on the line. Each had been reading about the ‘medicinal’ uses of marijuana for people undergoing cancer treatment. They became convinced that it could alleviate Lin’s nausea, pain and lack of appetite. Well the conversations became hysterical as they found ‘suppliers’ and offered to have the stuff delivered. One of them is quoted as saying to her husband, ‘I don’t #%&(@&#%)@ care if it’s illegal and that I can lose my career if I get caught. It’s for Lin and if it will help I’m gonna do it anyway!’. (Don’t try to guess who this was because I’ll NEVER tell!).

I realize that not every person and family has a happy ending to their cancer ordeal. My only answer and hope lies in the Eternal.

And by the way, dealing with Health Insurance is a nightmare that takes away from a patient’s ability to heal. If you ever get sick, have someone else deal with the bills until you are fully recovered.

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

PS- the pic on the Left is Before, the pic on the Right is Now--- After pic will be posted in a few months :D