Gay Student Suicide

Last week a male college student at Rutgers University was caught having sex with another male student in his dorm room. His roommate and a friend recorded the event and broadcast it to a number of other friends on the internet. Apparently the freshman who was ‘caught’ on tape was so distraught that he took his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge which connects New Jersey and New York City.

Both the roommate and the friend were arrested. The family of the deceased grieves.

Many politicians, celebrities, and just regular folks are searching for answers to this tragedy. The media is re-reporting the event every hour because the story has ‘legs’. Of all the 33,000 suicide deaths that occur each year, this one is ‘special’ (or at least that is what we are being led to believe).

Politicians want us to believe that if we just had tougher laws against ‘bullying’ this would not have happened. Some outspoken celebrities scream that ‘this just has to stop here’ and we need to take a stand against those who would bully gays and others as well. Others cry out that we have to be Nice-er and more Civil and more Compassionate.

Lest I am accused of being ‘insensitive’ please let me state that I know 1st hand what the death of a child is all about. And I know 1st hand what bullying is all about.

If bullying is not part of our nature, it is definitely a part of our culture and has been for a very long time. Some would try to put this all in a neat package and call it ‘bullying against gays’. The truth is that bullying crosses all lines- too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too black, too white, too yellow, too foreign, too Christian, too Jewish, too any-other-religion, too old, too young, too poor, too slow, and on and on and on.

There are bullies at school, online, at work, in the military, in government, in sports, in many families, at the store and just about everywhere else. Not only are bullies found in every layer of society, they are SUPPORTED by our culture. Just look at what is passed off as ‘entertainment’. Bullies learn about ‘PUT DOWN’ humor on TV, the movies, the internet and in many homes.

‘PUT DOWN’ humor is voiced by the bully to puff him or her self up.

‘Strong and Tough’ are looked on as desirable qualities for many jobs and in sports. But it is a fine line that crosses over to bullying.

The 2 that filmed the liaisons were arrested. They are freshman in college as well. They probably thought it was the funniest thing to catch someone in a compromising position--- THEY’VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. Oh My Goodness, some of our current stars got ‘discovered’ when PORN videos of them were released online.

I am not defending their immoral act of secretly filming someone but it’s not hard to figure out that a deep sense of morality is not part of their current makeup. Maybe they’ll learn that junior year. I doubt it though, ‘higher education’ usually teaches ethics and morals that are completely subjective.

Since bullies make up a significant percentage of the world, their eradication is not very likely. In fact, eliminating them is pretty much impossible (and you know how I hate to use THAT word). Dominant personalities and the extremely insecure can easily cross over to the dark side.

The solution to bullying can be found. It can start at home—if there is one. The home is where we are bound together in relationship. No relationship, no real family. It’s where boys learn to be real men and girls learn to be real women. It’s where we should feel safe and supported. It’s where we should develop our moral code.

Without real family, both bullying and the fear of bullies most likely will thrive. So being ‘connected’ for people of all ages is vital. With a bit of imagination, we all can become part of a group that could serve as a substitute or at least take up the slack for a dysfunctional family.

Suicide as an answer to anything is truly sad. I lost my best friend in the world to suicide a few years ago. As always when we look back, there were signs. I wasn’t educated enough to recognize what was happening. So many factors go into ‘why’ a person would end their own lives but suffice to say ‘one event’ did not cause it. There are always mitigating circumstances that take a person to that place of no answers and no solutions to their problems.

We were visiting my son at college last week and he invited us to attend church with him on Sunday. We met a 19 year old girl who had seen and heard enough about teen suicide. Her name is Alexa Kylen. She took action. Her website is Please Live - http://pleaselive.org/.

Alexa did her homework. SHE HAS ANSWERS for those who are suicidal and the rest of us as well. She’s helping save lives. Sadly, most of the world will never hear about Please Live. Alexa’s work is rarely publicized in the major media outlets or even taught in families, schools or churches.

As a society we need to value human life during all its stages. And we must continually communicate to those around us the VALUE of 1 LIFE- theirs!

And we as parents and young adults might want to seriously consider the effects of our ‘entertainment culture’ not only on society, but on OUR families and loved ones. Getting pounded with messages and images that demean humanity surely cannot be good for children and probably not for the rest us either.

I’ll be praying for all involved in the Rutgers tragedy. Be encouraged. Bye4now…