Apologies, Laughs & Deep Thoughts!

So I’ve been Out of Touch for a bit. Just re-grouping I suppose. There is so much Nonsense information floating around- everywhere on just about every topic. After what we’ve been through, I’m glad to report that there is Hope—more on this soon, I promise.

For now I thought you might get a few laughs and insights from my recent FaceBook postings. It’s tough for us Storytellers to say things in Tweets and short blurbs as required by our fast paced world. But methinks there IS a place--- bye4now…

After last summers miserable #^$&$*$($(% bout with cancer, chemo & radiation, it was awesome to see my wife Lin running and dancing on Sunday!!! What a difference a year makes... build your Faith, keep Hope alive.... DANCE!!! http://www.youtube.com/wat​ch?v=y2SfmcNg8js

Washing cars & Murphy's Law- Since my wife has a penchant for driving her truck on dirt roads, I usually wash our vehicles twice a year. Since there is a Big Wedding in Long Island today, I washed, vacuumed and did the glass. A not-forcasted torrential downpour has been raining on us for the last 5 hours!!! LOL

How's this for Inspiration? My son Russ 'Buddy' Jones is training @ Jay Schroeder s hard core gym in Phoenix with some of the best athletes in the world- he's standing next to this little lady and they start to chat- come to find out who she really is- OMG!!!- 3x cancer conqueror who ran across America by completing a marathon (26+ miles) per day for 93 days in a row covering over 2,500 miles crossing the South in the Summertime! Don't believe me- my new friend is Helene Neville and you can check her out @ http://oneontherun.com/

Aging skin is funny... after you lose fat, your skin doesn't just tighten up right away... It's like its sayin'- 'OK dude, ya got skinnier BUT I'm bettin' yer gonna backslide and get fat again so Why Should I Tighten' Up When You're Just Going To Stretch Me Out Again?' LOL (but the good news is that it eventually gives in and does the 'tighten up') I just dropped 20+ feeling that I didn't need the xtra lbs to do the StrongMan stuff and I would be Healthier--- it came off pretty quick just eating right (my definition :)) I got the biggest laugh putting deodorant on and there was extra armpit skin LOL I called my wife hoping it wasn't some weird disease--- fortunately it eventually tightened up PTL!!!! (btw- she said she would love me even if it didn't tighten)

'When you understand the metabolic effects of eating grains, you’re empowered to make informed decisions about the role grains will have in your diet. You’re free to enjoy good health and self-selected compromises with a clear conscience and full epicurean gusto!' -ms

'A friend holds you up when you stumble... and holds you down when you stray'... jm

5 minute iso wall squat--- Let's hear it for the Old Guys!!! YAY!

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes. -Charles Swindoll

okokokok let me get this straight about our son--- leave home in May and drive to Phoenix to train for 8 weeks- then drive to Raleigh to visit your Grandparents then up to the DC area to fly out of Dulles to be a guest speaker @ a Youth Conference in EGYPT (yeah the one in North Africa!!) then fly back to DC-- get in his car and head North to Jersey (with a few stop offs to visit on the way I'm sure)... when I was 20 I still hadn't been out of New York and Jersey...

uh-oh!!! It's Raining 3's again!!! Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman dropped 4 long range bombs in the Pa. Summer league.... even married life has NOT affected her shooting touch :D lol...

'If his swing were any sweeter, you'd get tooth decay.' -re golfer Rory McIlroy-- ANOTHER shanty Irishman who COULD rule the world!

1973 @ the Joint in the Woods in Parsippany, NJ Gary Cook drove a van load of us to see this new band-- Bruce Springsteen and the E_Street Band... 1st time we heard Clarence Clemons 'live' - he did not disappoint... (there was a bit of a brawl between sets when the dj played disco and security tried to move us from in front of the stage :( ) Were you there???

YOU MUST CREATE AN EXTENSIVE DISTURBANCE OF HOMEOSTASIS IN ORDER TO ELICIT A HIGHER LEVEL OF SUPERCOMPENSATION!!! -JS

hey Nowitzki! Whenever I would miss a lot of shots (rare) it seemed to help if I moved CLOSER TO THE BASKET-- just sayin

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For those of you who are wondering there is no such thing as 'old school' 'new school'--- there is only Old School, New Students -BKC (pause and think about that!)

When my son was driving out to Arizona a few weeks back, he HAD to stop in Ohio to visit a teammate... NOW I know why... Really good stuff for anyone battling major illness...

GoMessiah.com - Furm's Take

Our dear friend Patti just lost her Brother after a long battle with $!*&$!($^*!^$ cancer... she posted this song- Awesome!
If you're a prayin' person, shoot a few toward Patti and her Family today... Thanks...

Geoff Moore - When I get where I'm going

the President has dismissed his Economic Guru... let's hope the next one can figure out how to get Gas Prices back to $1.79/gal (amongst other things) I remember pumpin' gas @ Smitty's Sunoco in Secaucus back in the day for 25 cents a Gallon AND I cleaned front and back windshields withOUT asking AND checked your tire pressure if you asked-- for free!!! (but those 25 cent tips were GREAT)

Wag More, Bark Less

"If I left church as changed as sometimes I left Coach Wooden's den, I would be a better person."- Cori Close, UCLA women's basketball coach

John Wooden: One year after Wooden's death, Coach's coaches carry on his legacy - ESPN Los Angeles

My commitment to Truth was unwavering, but my ability to express it in Love left something to be desired-- jm

So we're at a school in Secaucus for the anti-bully assemblies this morning. I’m setting up for the strength feats and Lin getting our sound system dialed in. Well in comes the Principal and he points to the School's sound system which was monstrous.

Lin politely tells him she's more comfortable with our system-- THE next thing we know he CRANKS out We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister and nearly blows me off the stage... It became the Theme Song of the Day with everyone playing Air Guitar and Drums... What a HOOT!!!! Loved the Kids, Teachers and Staff--- Great Day--- There Ain't NoMo Bullies in That School! :)

31 years ago today I 'attempted' to sing this song to my new Bride... my old biker pal from Secaucus Steve McGauley played guitar and harmonized-- while Lin's little brother Hank played guitar as well... although the sentiment was there, based on my performance it's safe to say that my rendition would NOT have gone viral & there would have not been any American Idol invites... LOL

Marshall Tucker Band - "In My Own Way"

How Cool is That? My friend Dennis Rogers son Jay co-wrote 'I Love You this Big' for the new American Idol champ, Scotty McCreery... now that cracks me up because Dennis' son is a Rapper and now he'll make a gazillion $ writing Country Songs! Congratulations!

Lesson from son training in Arizona... I've heard it before but he expressed it with such conviction--- 'PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY' (wait till I tell my wife about what her 'baby' is learning - ouch :D)

Americans will always do the right thing—after they’ve exhausted all the alternatives. —Winston Churchill

Warning! Do not take boiling water from the microwave when 1/2 asleep! There is a good chance it will spill on your belly and burn off a few layers of skin :( If it happens to you, be sure to have a young nurse sleeping down the hallway--- thanks for saving me Honey :D -- a mere flesh wound (or a 'lack of Flesh' wound)... my kids Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman Krissy Jones Russ 'Buddy' Jones are afraid the scarring might show over the top of my SPEEDO when we go to the beach...

Playin' with My Head Dept- had to get my license renewed in Jersey 2day. The lady looks at my Old license and asks 'Would you like to use the Old picture or take a new one?' Well I looked at the Old pic and said to myself 'You look pretty good :D'. I inform the lady that I'll keep the Old picture and Thanks for askin'. But now I'm looking at the new license with the Old pic and I'm not sure it even looks like me :( i'm just concerned that if i get carded, the bouncer won't believe it's really me :)

Soft hands HURT!!!!

Fantastic Birthday! Many laughs including toothpaste drool on my ARPwave shirt-- (drool on one's 58th bday is ill advised :D LOL) Super dinner @ home TOPPED off by a Wifey-HomeMade IceCream Cake-- AFTER 2 servings; OHHHHH MY ACHING GIZZARD :) (breaking out the digestive enzymes)

Shout out to Krissy Jones who worked the late shift yesterday and then got up super-early to make her Momma @ wonderful homemade breakfast from scratch... then it was off to work again--( if you're eating at the Highlawn Pavillion-- Tip Large!!!)

The bliss of hamstring innervation on a Saturday morn :)

No regrets, right??

DISCREET...
1.judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect.
2.showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence.
3.modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious

There is a huge void in our society when it comes to RESPECT. -rj

I'm glad the President shared his birth cert (not)... I'm WAY more concerned about Gas & Food prices :(

Makes sense to me--- 'Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.' – Hub

Some of my older friends are complaining about Gaps in their memory. Gaps are good for a few reasons- some things should be forgotten, they free up active thought processes AND--- Gaps are what friends help 'fill in' (and as we all know, revisionist history is much more fun than what really happened :D)

Father of the Century-- my Pal Tom White (father of 6 daughters) will be seeing the 1st marriage today of one of his girls... I'm sure he slept well last night lol... great father, husband, man--- I know it's not about you today but father-in sure ain't easy when you try to do it right, RIGHT???

B4 'getting in shape', one must get in Position...

He saved my life once... MANY stories to tell... R I P NJ.com : Ed Ford, Jersey City icon and Jersey Journal sports columnist, dies

It's not a chick flick but there were no mass murders, beatings, gratuitous sex or fake driving or fighting scenes either...hmmm--- Inspiring is an over-used description BUT it IS!!!!

www.soulsurferthemovie.com

After all of the great hoops over the last few weeks... the championship game was the UGLIEST I can remember... it's bad when 1 team wins by default...

What darkness? the Light is so bright there are no shadows :D

Truth has no agenda! It just is.

The Weather Channel is predicting another 5-10" of snow starting on Thursday night into Friday... It MUST be an April Fools thing-- RIGHT??? This is New Jersey NOT Colorado-- maybe it's the beginning of another Ice Age...

How did it get like this? I don't trust politicians in general but someone sent me this link--- where does our money go? If this is 1/2 true, it's still unbelievable-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ocVj6UWiDI&feature=email

Lesson from my DOG! Our vet was so exited... our 6yr old dog REV went from 128 lbs to 102 lbs... He looks fantastic and is jumping like a puppy... His Muscular definition is outstanding! AND he's HAPPY :) His motivation was of the negative variety- the guy at the pet store said he was FAT... We're proud of our boy :D

Looking for the next Iron Will Stoneman------

Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men. -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman is the only person I know on the planet who picked Butler to go to the Final 4.... I hope she shares her winnings with her Papa :D

We don't need a meeting of Really Nice Guys; we need a gathering of Really Dangerous Men___ je

I don’t want to put you in a box or restrict you. But honest talk can smash warped philosophies; tear down barriers erected against truth; and fit every loose thought and impulse and emotion into the structure of life. -rj

'Man Backed into Police Car after Smoking Pot' was a headline in one of the local papers... Apparently, the driver stopped at a STOP sign (good thing right?) and then stalled out his car, re-started it quickly (still good) but then inadvertently shifted into REVERSE (uh oh)... he looked both ways at the STOP- left and right -BUT when he hit the gas he unfortunately went backward into the Police Car... AND then to make matters worse he Failed the Sobriety test AND had to surrender his Pot and his Pipe... more news at 10... ouch... He told the police he was using the Marijuana so as not to get Cancer (not really- but that's what I would have used as my defense:D)

Thanks Russ 'Buddy' Jones for putting a thin piece of tape over the steel V handle... the pain in my hands is exquisite-- I'm sure if it doesn't make me arthritic, I'll be a better man from the experience :D

Just saw Anthony Roblis! WOW!

Nothing like hanging from one's Scapula early on a Saturday morn...

Saw a 350 lb Bear tonight... guess they're waking up--- a whole lot better indicator spring is around the corner than a dumb old groundhog... (even the BEARS get UP for March Madness :))

A brief history lesson on St Patty's Day... very cool... it was given to this Shanty Irishman by another Gerard Gorman... watch it with your family :) http://gerardgorman.weebly.com/2/post/2011/03/happy-st-pattys-day.html

March 15th--- finally able to get the Christmas lights down... what a winter!!! Our dog is still able to 'walk on water'--- pool remains frozen solid :) BUT BUT the Hot Tub IS hot :) The college spring break crew including Krissy Jones and Russ 'Buddy' Jones and friends have tested the waters!!

Did my morning workout THEN my son Russ 'Buddy' Jones came down to train... Methinks I'm really kidding myself-- his warm up was tougher than my entire workout :( (mambypamby land is trying to get me)

HUGE laundry piles in kitchen--- can mean only 1 thing... Spring Break!!!

MS claimed a friend.. he fought the good fight... RIP Ted Doty

Is 2 years too soon to get nostalgic? What a run it was!!!! Keep the dream alive kid;

189lbs Billy George Long Branch- vs. Russel Jones Pope John- | 2009 NJSIAA New Jersey High School Wr

Move over Weight Watchers, there is a new way to lose weight.....It's the "I can't afford to buy groceries to feed myself because I just filled my gas tank" diet. Re-post if you have seen the price of gas. :(

Remember the scene in Braveheart where Robert the Bruce's evil father is whispering lies to him about treason and compromise? He says to Robert what the Enemy says to us in a thousand ways: 'All men betray; all men lose heart'. How does Robert answer? He yells back,
I don't want to lose heart!
I want to believe, like [Wallace] does.
I will never be on the wrong side again .
This is the turning point in his life... and in ours. The battle shifts to a new level. W@H

Thanks to HarryO!!!! A night in My Home Town! Rev the Therapy Dog is posted outside a known gathering place of local hooligans-- ready for action!

Just tried to 1- arm curl Rev the Therapy Dog--- didn't budge him, he rolled his eyes... I know my friend Dennis Rogers can do it :) (no joke)

Those watching for SPRING; be encouraged!!! Rev the Therapy Dog and I went for a walk and even though we had 7" of fresh snow on Monday--- the Brooks and Streams which had been frozen solid are now BABBLING!!!! (couldn't exactly make out what they were saying-- but it's that way with babblers isn't it?)

I KNEW IT dept.--- Dr David explained the difference between the sexes when they shop... Men go on a Hunt; Women go on a Safari (the illustrations had us all howling :))

Ya gotta read this--- he was at our clinic a few weeks back--- someone to
CHEER for!!!
http://www.app.com/article/20110219/NJCOLUMNIST09/102190321/1002/NJSPORTS/Chris-Malleo-is-part-of-a-family-of-believers

Disturbing Trend? It seems that every time my wife kisses me lately-- she immediately pushes me away (while still holding on)... In my mind I'm like 'what is the matter with YOU??? or me??--- then I realized that when we're that close; she can't see me!!!

Took my bride to the NJ Flower Show.... a bunch of happy folks with dirt under their nails... BUT it was refreshing to see a mind-boggling assortment of plant life in full bloom esp after the winter we're having... stark contrast to my hi-tech everyday world for sure...

Lessons from a North Carolina Road Trip

Sorry I’ve been away a while… hope all is well.

Last week my almost 80 year old parents moved out of Secaucus, New Jersey after 77 years. They have taken up residence in Apex, North Carolina to live near one of my sisters. I drove the moving truck with my Dad riding shotgun and Lin followed in my Mom’s car.

Because the truck didn’t go very fast, it took about 11 hours to cover the 600 miles. My sister was a fantastic host and we went to church with her on Super Bowl Sunday.

Now the preacher caught my attention by speaking about the word ‘cumulative’; which I wrote about back in May 2006. Since I felt he did a great job addressing ‘cumulative value’ and ‘cumulative effect’, I’m going to share the highlights.

Maybe I needed to be reminded of it more than you but BY IMPLEMENTING THE IDEAS PUT FORTH HERE MY LIFE HAS ALREADY DRAMATICALLY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.

We all need to learn how to live in such a way that one day we can look back on our lives with as little regret as possible. Always ask the question, ‘What is the wise thing to do?’ It would be awesome to live a regret-free life!

We have ALL the time we need… what are we doing with it???

1- There is a Cumulative Value to investing small amounts of time in certain activities over a long period of time. For example- exercise, your marriage, your children, etc.

2- Neglect also has a Cumulative Effect over a period of time. For example- exercise, your marriage, your children, etc.

3- There are rarely any immediate consequences for neglecting single installments of time in any one area of life. For example- If you are a committed exerciser and you skip a day or 2 or even a week, it will not make a huge difference in the long run.

4- There is no Cumulative Value to the urgent things we allow to interfere with the important things of life (that is why we have regret). Emergencies can literally suck the life out of you.

5- In the important areas of life, you cannot make up for lost time. Where did all the time go and why don’t I have anything to show for it? For example- how often does your family sit down for a dinner where life updates are given and relationships are built? What traits would you hope your children develop? Honesty, Integrity, Honor, and a good Work Ethic would be admirable. Are you taking steps everyday to help develop those traits?

‘Right Now’ is just a phase in your life. In light of your past, present and future, what is the wise thing to do with your time? What do you need to STOP doing? 4 areas to look at are Physically, Relationally, Professionally, and Spiritually.

And if you are not serving somewhere, your life is not balanced. ‘If you want to be Great, Serve!’ –JC

Lin and I took the train from North Carolina back to Jersey. It was an adventure. But at one point we were sitting at a table in one of the cars… big bright windows to the passing scenery, special snacks packed by my sister and some beverages. We had a lengthy discussion about all of the Cumulative things in our lives to this point.

We butted heads a bit and started the process of answering the Questions. Even though it was work, it was well worth the effort. Any activities that lead one to Peace of Mind are worthwhile.

All the best… bye4now…

Gay Student Suicide

Last week a male college student at Rutgers University was caught having sex with another male student in his dorm room. His roommate and a friend recorded the event and broadcast it to a number of other friends on the internet. Apparently the freshman who was ‘caught’ on tape was so distraught that he took his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge which connects New Jersey and New York City.

Both the roommate and the friend were arrested. The family of the deceased grieves.

Many politicians, celebrities, and just regular folks are searching for answers to this tragedy. The media is re-reporting the event every hour because the story has ‘legs’. Of all the 33,000 suicide deaths that occur each year, this one is ‘special’ (or at least that is what we are being led to believe).

Politicians want us to believe that if we just had tougher laws against ‘bullying’ this would not have happened. Some outspoken celebrities scream that ‘this just has to stop here’ and we need to take a stand against those who would bully gays and others as well. Others cry out that we have to be Nice-er and more Civil and more Compassionate.

Lest I am accused of being ‘insensitive’ please let me state that I know 1st hand what the death of a child is all about. And I know 1st hand what bullying is all about.

If bullying is not part of our nature, it is definitely a part of our culture and has been for a very long time. Some would try to put this all in a neat package and call it ‘bullying against gays’. The truth is that bullying crosses all lines- too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too black, too white, too yellow, too foreign, too Christian, too Jewish, too any-other-religion, too old, too young, too poor, too slow, and on and on and on.

There are bullies at school, online, at work, in the military, in government, in sports, in many families, at the store and just about everywhere else. Not only are bullies found in every layer of society, they are SUPPORTED by our culture. Just look at what is passed off as ‘entertainment’. Bullies learn about ‘PUT DOWN’ humor on TV, the movies, the internet and in many homes.

‘PUT DOWN’ humor is voiced by the bully to puff him or her self up.

‘Strong and Tough’ are looked on as desirable qualities for many jobs and in sports. But it is a fine line that crosses over to bullying.

The 2 that filmed the liaisons were arrested. They are freshman in college as well. They probably thought it was the funniest thing to catch someone in a compromising position--- THEY’VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. Oh My Goodness, some of our current stars got ‘discovered’ when PORN videos of them were released online.

I am not defending their immoral act of secretly filming someone but it’s not hard to figure out that a deep sense of morality is not part of their current makeup. Maybe they’ll learn that junior year. I doubt it though, ‘higher education’ usually teaches ethics and morals that are completely subjective.

Since bullies make up a significant percentage of the world, their eradication is not very likely. In fact, eliminating them is pretty much impossible (and you know how I hate to use THAT word). Dominant personalities and the extremely insecure can easily cross over to the dark side.

The solution to bullying can be found. It can start at home—if there is one. The home is where we are bound together in relationship. No relationship, no real family. It’s where boys learn to be real men and girls learn to be real women. It’s where we should feel safe and supported. It’s where we should develop our moral code.

Without real family, both bullying and the fear of bullies most likely will thrive. So being ‘connected’ for people of all ages is vital. With a bit of imagination, we all can become part of a group that could serve as a substitute or at least take up the slack for a dysfunctional family.

Suicide as an answer to anything is truly sad. I lost my best friend in the world to suicide a few years ago. As always when we look back, there were signs. I wasn’t educated enough to recognize what was happening. So many factors go into ‘why’ a person would end their own lives but suffice to say ‘one event’ did not cause it. There are always mitigating circumstances that take a person to that place of no answers and no solutions to their problems.

We were visiting my son at college last week and he invited us to attend church with him on Sunday. We met a 19 year old girl who had seen and heard enough about teen suicide. Her name is Alexa Kylen. She took action. Her website is Please Live - http://pleaselive.org/.

Alexa did her homework. SHE HAS ANSWERS for those who are suicidal and the rest of us as well. She’s helping save lives. Sadly, most of the world will never hear about Please Live. Alexa’s work is rarely publicized in the major media outlets or even taught in families, schools or churches.

As a society we need to value human life during all its stages. And we must continually communicate to those around us the VALUE of 1 LIFE- theirs!

And we as parents and young adults might want to seriously consider the effects of our ‘entertainment culture’ not only on society, but on OUR families and loved ones. Getting pounded with messages and images that demean humanity surely cannot be good for children and probably not for the rest us either.

I’ll be praying for all involved in the Rutgers tragedy. Be encouraged. Bye4now…

Is cancer EVER good?

Not from my perspective. Can good things come out of the experience? I think so but WOW you really have to look for the GOOD THINGS.

Lin, my wife of 30 years, was diagnosed with cancer on April 28^th of this year. We are told its very early stage and very treatable. No one in her family ever had cancer.

Our daughter was getting married on May 22^nd so we decided not to announce it to the world. It would only take away from the great celebration. So we prepared for the wedding and the start of chemotherapy and radiation that would commence on Monday May 24^th.

Even though it seems that just about every family in America has experienced someone close having cancer, I was shocked. I’ve had people around me battle with cancer but it was never my battle. This one is! We’ve been together so long it truly feels as if 2 has become 1! (I know you might not find that in ‘math made ez’).

Thank God we know some knowledgeable folks in the medical field. They helped us navigate but it still was not easy. Get the right cancer Doctor, hope the protocol works the way it should, have a port implanted in your chest, hope the chemotherapy people are experienced and NICE, hope you get the right radiation Doctor, hope the radiation staff has good aim, load up on prescriptions for pain-for nausea-for sleep-for your skin (‘see which one works best’-shrug :(), make 6 weeks of daily appointments in advance, postpone some appointments when your body just can take the ‘cure’ anymore, and through it all keep the ‘WANT TO LIVE’ alive.

Our 1^st visit to the Simon Cancer Center was quite illuminating. The mix of patients was complete- young to old, skinny to fat, short to tall, way-out-of-shape to in-shape, all colors, all genders (I only know of 2).

What the hell was my wife doing here? We’re flippin’ Health Nuts! We buy natural, healthy foods and have a big vegetable garden in the summer. We take supplements- anti-oxidants even. No artificial flavors or colors, no preservatives, no sugar, no chemicals- we try to do it right (except when we don’t :( ). We lead active lives- vigorous activity. Getting plenty of fresh air and keeping a positive attitude round out how we live.

Okay maybe we get stressed out from time to time and maybe we worry a bit but is cancer the punishment for struggling when life is a bit un-manageable?

Maybe Lin got cancer because we grew up in a toxic area of the country or because we didn’t have any real ventilation in the bar we had back in the 80’s or because of acid rain that falls on us from Pittsburgh or because she stands too close to the microwave or from breathing too many exhaust fumes during traffic jams going into New York City or down the Jersey shore- I don’t know! Who does?

We had bought into the promises of having a Healthy Lifestyle. ‘Add more years to your life and more life to your years.’ Is Jack LaLanne-the Godfather of Fitness- a fraud? Jack’s brother lived to be 97 and I don’t know if he ate ‘right’ or even exercised. Do we really need a freakin’ juicer if cancer comes anyway?

I realize that no one gets off this planet alive (except for a few space cadets:)) but life is more than a bit unpredictable.

So after 2 full weeks of 24-hour IV chemotherapy, 30 radiation sessions (4 more to go), going bald, and losing over 20 pounds from a normal of 117, here then are the most positive things I can think of….

-Our children overcame the shock and ‘stepped up’ big-time. Lin and I are so proud to have children who (at least during crisis) actually ‘get it’. Krissy cleaned, cooked, shopped, ran errands and sat with her Mom on the nights she couldn’t sleep because of the pain.

-When he was in town, Buddy contributed like no other time in his life- yard work, house work, wedding prep, and he was a prayer warrior.

-And our newlywed made extra visits home and encouraged her Mom (and me!) daily with prayers and conversations.

-Lin’s friends that she dances with at Church were like the Marines. They were the first to find out and they volunteered and prayed and encouraged and visited.

-After the 1^st month when Lin was really in rough shape, some other folks from Church found out and it was like the Army, Navy and Air Force combined- the Driving Force was Lynn Beattie. Fantastic meals every other day, rides to her treatments, more prayers and even visits from our Senior Pastors- Dr. David and Marlinda Ireland- which encouraged Lin greatly.

-Lin learned how to ‘receive’. Her life has been dominated by her ‘giving’. From caring for me and our children to long term care of some family members to her career as a nurse, she was never the one getting care. Methinks we all need to experience both.

-And we got to have visitors without having to have the house ‘perfect’- everything dusted, vacuumed, mowed, cleaned, polished, etc…. Lin was so sick she didn’t care. I hope she noticed that the folks coming to see her CAME TO SEE HER and not to give our home a ‘white glove test’.

Great News came last week when she was examined by the Oncologist and he declared her cancer-free and that a biopsy in 2 months would prove it.

Thanks to everyone for all the love and support.

We even had 2 very accomplished, very professional people put it all on the line. Each had been reading about the ‘medicinal’ uses of marijuana for people undergoing cancer treatment. They became convinced that it could alleviate Lin’s nausea, pain and lack of appetite. Well the conversations became hysterical as they found ‘suppliers’ and offered to have the stuff delivered. One of them is quoted as saying to her husband, ‘I don’t #%&(@&#%)@ care if it’s illegal and that I can lose my career if I get caught. It’s for Lin and if it will help I’m gonna do it anyway!’. (Don’t try to guess who this was because I’ll NEVER tell!).

I realize that not every person and family has a happy ending to their cancer ordeal. My only answer and hope lies in the Eternal.

And by the way, dealing with Health Insurance is a nightmare that takes away from a patient’s ability to heal. If you ever get sick, have someone else deal with the bills until you are fully recovered.

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

PS- the pic on the Left is Before, the pic on the Right is Now--- After pic will be posted in a few months :D

Immigration Status

I was attending a family event in East Rutherford, New Jersey a couple of weeks ago. Lin and I had Babci (my 88 year old Polish mother-in-law) with us. We drove past the regional high school and up on the big sign it read ‘Student of the Month- Julia Dombrowski’.

Well Julia is Babci’s granddaughter and Lin’s niece. It’s a fantastic honor to be ‘Student of the Month’. Of course, my little brain couldn’t just leave it there. You see years before, Babci had been the Matron at the very same school- basically being the cleaning lady and helping to keep general order amongst the girls at the school.

And Babci never had the opportunity to even attend high school.

And this got me thinking about all the Immigration battles going on today in the U.S.A.

Babci’s older sister and brother were born in Poland. The family emigrated to the United States, entering through Ellis Island with the hope of a better future. Babci was born in a little shack on a farm up by Pine Island, New York. Her Mom went back out into the field to finish working within a few hours of giving birth.

When Babci was 7, the family moved to Jersey City, New Jersey where 5 more siblings were born. The family of 8 lived in a small 4-room apartment Downtown. No car, no air conditioning, no TV, coal heat that they had to manage, 2 party phone- shared with another family, no bathtub- they used a washtub for cleaning clothes and for bathing, and they shared a bathroom with another family.

Because of their tough financial situation, Babci left school after the 8th grade to go to work. By law, she attended ‘continuation school’ until the age of 16. She worked at various jobs- assembly line work at a mirror factory, cleaning and doing the laundry for a 3 story building owned by a druggist… for $7 a week, and for RCA. Falling in love before World War 2, she was married to another immigrant- Henry Dombrowski- during a furlough he had from the US Army. We called him Dziadzi (Polish grandfather).

After the war, they lived in an apartment back in Jersey City. Scrimping and saving working at different jobs, they were able to put a small down payment on a house in Rutherford, New Jersey. Still without their 1st car yet, Dziadzi landed a job with the railroad. And Babci settled in to raising 4 children. She also found time to work a few jobs as well- the aforementioned job as a Matron, cleaning office buildings and working in the mailroom at Fairleigh Dickinson University.

Her youngest son Hank is Student of the Month Julia Dombrowski’s dad. Hank’s formal education stopped after high school but he was always willing to work. He has a great job as a foreman with Public Service Electric & Gas. He also has run a successful Christmas Tree business for the last 20 years.

And so it was. Dream of coming to America for an opportunity to work and build a better life. Working hard and sacrificing for your family. Serving your new country. And then reaping the benefits of living and working in the USA- a home of your own, a job with health and retirement benefits or a chance to own and run your own business, a safe place to live.

AFTER you helped make the United States a better place, you reap the benefits.

It seems that nowadays, the reason many come to America is to benefit from our Social Welfare system- food stamps, free education, welfare, free health-care, etc. In many cases the mentality seems to be ‘what can I get for free or without working?’ New communities have formed that try to imitate what their ‘country of origin’ was like. There is no desire to assimilate into our society but rather to ‘use’ our system.

Babci and Dziadzi and their parents had to learn the language spoken in the land of opportunity. They knew it would be foolish to expect their new country to change languages. The new immigrants studied and practiced to be able to communicate with their new neighbors.

But our government has failed us. For too long it ignored immigration laws and allowed people to enter our country illegally. Not only is this a disservice to American citizens but also to everyone who has followed the law to live here. The ‘illegals’ also suffer in that they cannot speak the language, understand the culture and truly become part of our ‘communities’.

What good has it done to ‘legalize’ another language? It only further ostracizes people who really need to learn a new way of life and not be trapped in their old cultures that failed them. Don’t get me wrong, cultural traditions are fine. It’s when people try to ‘change’ the land of opportunity to something else- something that failed back in their home countries- that I grieve.

It’s like the programs to raise self-esteem in schools. Everyone is a winner. Everyone is special. Everyone is smart. The missing ingredient in these well-intentioned recipes is W-O-R-K! Sadly, hard work has been glossed over.

We presented 2 assemblies this week in a very poor community in New Jersey. The majority of the children were either homeless or lived in low rent motels for 9 months out of the year. We were brought in by the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. The shows rocked. The principal and teachers were excited. The kids were pumped up.

So what happens to these ‘children of illegals’ once they get to high school? Well, they’ve been getting free breakfast and lunch, government paid for housing, free education, free medical….

I had a chance to speak with one of the high school counselors. She said that it’s extremely frustrating because the kids EXPECT everything to be handed to them. It’s how they have been raised.

Something ain’t right folks and it’s not the kid’s fault.

Someone needs to put ‘Term Limits’ on our politicians. If limits are good enough for the President they should be good enough for our Senators and Congressman. Being a politician should not be a career choice but a time of service to this great country.

It’s going to have to be some sort of viral, grassroots movement because we all know that politicians are not going to vote themselves out of office.

Thanks to Babci and Dziadzi for all they have done to make this country better!!!! And congratulations on the successes of their children and grandchildren, as well.

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

Your friend (iC),
Russell Jones

My Special Needs Child

Do you have a ‘classified’ or ‘special needs’ or ‘learning disabled’ child? This is a true story of what happened with our daughter and how we dealt with it. Please note that I realize that everyone’s situation is different as is the way they choose to address it.

My wife Lin really, really wanted to have children back around 1982. I couldn’t quite understand why since she already had ME. But she convinced me it might be a worthwhile pursuit and I kind of bought into the idea-- and by February 1985 there was one ‘in the oven’.

So preparation was made for the big day. The doctor said we should expect our little cherub on November 22, 1985. I was enrolled in natural childbirth classes with my wife (of course it was obligatory for me to ask the instructor ‘If it’s Natural Childbirth, why do we have to take a class?’).

Well, I never did complete the course because lo and behold our brand spankin’ new baby girl decided that 9 months was way too long to stay all cooped up. She entered the free world on September 22—a full 8 weeks early.

I guess there are reasons why 9 months is the suggested time for incubation because they had to keep our little girl there for an extra 2 weeks before she could come home. She was called a ‘Preemie’. But they finally let her out and we all began to settle in. And the last 24 years have been amazing.

Our little Jayne Lin seemed happy and healthy. She landed a job acting in a commercial when she was 4. It was awesome shooting all over Manhattan in New York City.

She went to school and in 1st grade we got ‘the call’. The school had tested and evaluated our daughter and had determined that she was to be ‘classified’. We were told that meant she would be put in ‘special classes’. My wife and I freaked out. ‘Not OUR daughter. Oh no. There must be some mistake. She’s normal. Whoever came to this decision must be an idiot!’

Even though I’m certified to teach in the great state of New Jersey, I wasn’t really sure about ‘classified’, ‘special education’, ‘learning disabilities’, etc. So I checked with a close family member who is an educational professional and she said ‘I know Jayne Lin and she is NOT a special needs kid. Don’t go along with the school on this’.

Well thanks for the advice but now what do we do? We talked it over with the school and with each other. The school was not changing their assessment. But we had our doubts especially since she was our child. I mean after Lin and I looked in the mirror and saw how perfect we were (it amazes me how we as parents think our children should be perfect when we’re all pretty much not), how could our little blonde beauty be less than perfect as well?

Maybe Mom and Dad had fallen short in preparing our girl for the rigors of 1st grade? We decided to do a bit of evaluating of our own. The summer between 1st and 2nd grade we encouraged Jayne Lin to enter a reading contest at the library. She read 113 books in 8 weeks and won the contest. Yes you read that right- 113 books. That didn’t seem to be very ‘learning disabled’ to me. Maybe the local public library was a better ‘fit’ for our daughter than the local public school.

We knew some people who knew some people whose children went to a small Christian school about 20 miles from home. Although we were attempting to live off my training business with Lin being a full-time Mom, we decided to give it a try. Jayne Lin got out of our mini-van the 1st day of school and immediately received a hug from her teacher. It was a good start and she thrived academically.

In fact, by age 12 our 7th grader made a special presentation at Montclair State University on ‘What It Takes to Become a Champion… not only in Sports but in Life’. She addressed a graduate class on Applied Sport Psychology and concluded with a question & answer session.

In 5th grade she had discovered basketball and was the best player on the worst team in the league—the team scored maybe 30 points ALL SEASON. Jayne told me she wanted to be a player. Oh no, I’m thinking to myself- small hands, no hops and not very fast getting up and down the court.

I counseled with a real coach about Jayne Lin’s physical limitations particularly for basketball. ‘No problem’, he said as long as she has heart and passion and the willingness to work hard. Pure ‘shooters’ are lacking in basketball because of all the time and hard work to become a good one.

And that’s what she did. Shoot and then shoot some more. Mom, Dad, little sister and little brother became permanent rebounders in ALL types of weather. I remember a late night shooting session in the driveway in the snow because J felt she needed the extra work.

Along with being an honor student, basketball opened up many doors for #33 to walk through, opportunities abounded. She played year round on travel teams, AAU teams, summer leagues, 3 on 3 tournaments, and shooting contests.

She started lifting weights when she was 12. She slept with a basketball (Pete Maravich, the basketball legend had done it as well). She travelled everywhere with a basketball.

By the end of 9th grade a very high profile private school accepted her to bolster their basketball program but they only took her because she had more than qualified academically. Her 1st week in the 10th grade writing class the teacher tore up her paper because it was way below the school’s standards (even though she was an honor student the year before in our local high school). The demands were high at the new school but she succeeded. By the end of high school she had a pretty decent resume-

Honor Student, Community Service Award (highest level), Christian Drama School, Youth Group, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, 4 years AAU, bench press (free weight)- 150 lbs., squat (free weight)- 250lbs.
Two times New Jersey Star Ledger “Most Unheralded 1st Team”, Two Time 1st Team All-Conference

Her shooting demonstrations included making 18 foul shots in a row- eyes closed, and 100 out of 108 3-point shots made in 10 minutes.

After changing colleges, she took a job as a coach and was the Youngest High School Varsity Girl’s Basketball Head Coach in the State (some think the country) when she had just turned 20 years old.

Hired 3 weeks before start of the season, she started with 13 girls in the entire program- none close to blue chip/ most with zero to bare minimum experience. The team was serving a suspension from its league and was not eligible for county tourney play. They lost their leading scorer 3 games into the season when she cut practice, went snowboarding, ran into a tree and cracked her cheekbone. They had to finish a Christmas tournament game ‘Hoosiers’ style with only 4 players because 1 had fouled out and 4 were nailed to the bench for breaking team rules. With very limited access to her Home gym, many practices were in a local park on a running track. No licensed driver was available for the School Van so Coach Jayne had to borrow her mother’s mini-van to transport players and beg parents to help. After practices and/or games coach had to drive 2-3 kids home. And after the 1st week in February all games had to be away because the Home gym only had 1 basket available. AND AFTER ALL THAT, the team won enough to qualify for the State Tournament.

She left coaching to get back on the court. Jayne Lin played 2 years of college ball (with a few highlights), waitressed on the weekends and graduated last spring Magna Cum Laude with a degree in English.

Oh and she sang the National Anthem acapella before numerous games and then played.

And she has played basketball in Africa, Italy and Spain with a women’s team. It was during the Africa trip a few years back that she met her future husband (May 22, 2010). While she can shoot way better than him, he is a tremendous rebounder. A match made in basketball heaven :D.

So the Preemie baby who they wanted to classify has done okay so far. Other than some attacks of TKS (Teenage Knucklehead Syndrome), she has performed at a high level with some of the best and brightest while holding true to her values and beliefs. Although her room and inside her car can be disastrous, Lin and I think she might do better with her own place (with Mike).

Reflecting back in why the educators wanted to ‘classify’ our daughter, it could have been any number of things- bad educators, bad school environment, bad parents, immaturity… It really doesn’t matter even if she had gone into the ‘special classes’. I think every kid has it in them to do something fantastic- no matter what the test scores say.

Mom and Dad just have to stay calm, love on their children and stay the course doing as much of the right things as possible… AND GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN!

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

Your friend (iC),
Russell Jones

My Great-Grandfather

How old were you the 1st time you realized that you had life ‘figured out’? 12? A little bit later? Maybe it was when you had some success at school or when you performed a brilliant task at home or dazzled your friends with a keen insight or just maybe it was when you observed one of life’s ‘losers’ and got puffed up knowing that at least you were smarter or better than that pitiful soul.

As a kid growing up back in the 1950’s, I had many opportunities to visit with my Great Grandparents. They lived in Piermont, New York right on the Hudson River about 30 miles north of New York City. I can remember good times fishing and swimming in the Hudson.

And always hanging in the kitchen was a wrought iron piece that said- ‘VE GET TOO SOON OLDT UNDT TOO LATE SCHMART’. And there was an image of a wise older man giving some sage advice to a young man. The young man actually appeared Happy to receive what he was being told.

Unlike your family, mine has many ‘characters’ and sordid tales that have tried to follow me down through history. Great Grandpa Visser was a Dutchman who came to the States as a young man.

He had a brilliant mind for numbers and could calculate huge equations in his head. He worked in the New York and New Jersey shipyards as an engineer and planner. In today’s world he would be considered a professional in high demand.

Great Grandpa also helped Great Grandma with her business as well. She ran a bar in Nyack, New York which was 3 miles from home. After work in the shipyards, he would drive up to the family business and help until closing time. The big tree stood witness to how many rough nights at the bar Great Grandpa had. If he had had too much to drink, he would run his car into the tree.

Early the next morning, you could hear a banging sound outside. It was Great Grandpa doing some body work on his car. If you’ve ever seen cars from the 1940’s like in the gangster movies (yes that’s right before there were ‘gangstas’ there were gangsters), they had big old metal fenders. All you had to do was turn the wheel and get in there with a ball peen hammer and bang out the dent. Then it was off to work (no body shop required).

During prohibition the bar turned into a speakeasy. Since liquor was illegal, my Great Grandparents would negotiate deals to purchase ‘Bathtub Gin’ (It was the North’s version of Moonshine) from a supplier in Hoboken, New Jersey. Since being caught with the stuff going across state lines could bring imprisonment, they decided to let Great Grandma drive the 30 miles alone with a load of Bathtub Gin under the floorboards.

After they had sold the bar and retired from the shipyard, they both lived well into their 80’s. But Great Grandpa was an alcoholic and it really was a shame from my perspective. Here was a brilliant man who was unable to function with a shot and a beer every 3 or 4 hours. He was banned by Great Grandma from drinking in the house. So he had a little corner set up in the basement with a small table, 2 chairs and an ice box.

Periodically whenever we would be visiting, Great Grandpa would disappear for a while. I followed him once as he went down to his corner. He would sit with his little dog- Dutchy (of course), a White Owl Invincible cigar, a bottle of Stegmaier beer and a shot of Seagrams whiskey. He would tell me stories and how proud he was of everything I was doing.

And then he gave me a ‘slug’ (no not a crawly thing and no he didn’t hit me). He’d give me a slug of beer. I was maybe 9 years old. It tasted terrible. But it’s amazing how our taste buds can adapt and by the time I was 12 it tasted pretty good. Just in time for the older guys in the neighborhood to get us our own beer. So it wasn’t just a ‘slug’ anymore. But that’s a story for another day.

The truth is that Great Grandpa was self-medicating. The alcohol was used to take away the pain- physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Oh please don’t judge my Great Grandpa. He didn’t have access to everything we have today. The doctors didn’t write prescriptions like today. Back then it was usually penicillin or take some aspirin.

Today not only can you get drugs for anything that ails you but you can get drugs to counteract the side effects of the original drugs and then more drugs to counteract the side effects of the drugs you’re taking to counteract the side effects of the original drugs.

As a formally trained Social Studies teacher, it amuses me to hear the call for higher math and science scores. The essence of ‘VE GET TOO SOON OLDT UNDT TOO LATE SCHMART’ is the oft quoted maxim- ‘Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it’. Unfortunately it seems the course of human nature to repeat mistakes again and again.

While we’re trying to raise the next generation, Dads and Moms, Grandpas and Grandmas, Teachers, Coaches, and all types of Leaders need to be reminded that the kids are not the only ones who need to get SCHMARTER. One of the greatest lessons from parenting is that if you don’t start out HUMBLE from the day your baby is born, YOU WILL BE HUMBLED!

By the way, I’ve been told since I was young that my nationalities are Irish, English, German and Greek. Hmmm… no mention of Dutch. Could there be family ‘skeletons’ that I don’t know about? Not that it really matters- I’m living in the Precious Present and looking toward a Fantastic Future. The Past is just a place to go to see what does and does not work.

All the best… bye4now…