Mouth-Watering Chicken & the True Legend…... ........................................................ Ma Jones

You might want to sit back and get comfortable. This is a tale that must be told but it cannot be rushed. It’s un-tweetable. Great stories are like that and this is no different.

Almost 32 years ago I married Lin. On our honeymoon I casually mentioned that I was beginning to believe that I was ‘unemployable’. As you might expect, her reaction was less than positive. Not exactly what a new bride wants to hear from the love of her life—especially since I was not born to money.

It’s not like I was unemployed. I was driving tractor-trailers and substitute teaching but I had these feelings to get out on my own and be my own boss.

So we (I?) decided to buy a bar. Since neither of us had any business experience, we sought guidance from a trusted friend who owned a bar also. Unfortunately his place went bankrupt about a month after he helped us buy ours. So we were on our own in the truest sense.

The movie Urban Cowboy was immensely popular at that time and even the New York City clubs went country— a dramatic shift from disco music (ugh J). We named our place A Touch of Country and sought to present the best bands and serve the best food.

The problem was that I was left in charge of everything- bartending, cleaning, ordering, bookkeeping, advertising, booking bands, minor repairs, and COOKING. Lin had recently finished her RN training and was working in a local Intensive Care Unit. I had less than no experience unless you consider the Cooking Merit Badge from the Boy Scouts. To see me run from the bar back to the kitchen, prepare some food and then run it back out to the bar was comical-- until you tried to eat the food. Overcooked burgers and undercooked chicken were my specialties.

And every night I would beg Lin to quit her job and come work with me. It took months but I was so pathetic she took pity and joined me. Lin has an impeccable gift in knowing how to make just about anything look and taste great. That was the good news. The bad news was that her only experience was cooking meals for us and maybe a few friends. Timing was not exactly considered. If you came for dinner at 6pm, all of the food might be out by Midnight. But everyone had a good time LOL.

Lin cooking was a tremendous encouragement to the regular patrons of A Touch of Country. And she set about putting a menu together. Special Burgers, Salads, Enchiladas, Burritos, Quesadillas, Nachos, Chile--- all prepared ‘from scratch’ with fresh ingredients from the Paterson Farmer’s Market.

The kitchen became her laboratory. She would bring out many different versions of each menu item until all would agree on the ‘best’. Every one of her creations stood on it’s own as her many fans can attest.

While getting together some ad copy to promote our entertainment calendar I figured that since the food had gotten so good, I should mention it. So it was that it became A Touch of Country- Country Cookin’ and Cookin’ Country Music. Why I felt the need to come up with an extra special persona for our new Chef I’m not sure. But my ‘hotter than a $2 pistol’ wife was given the professional name of Ma Jones. It was Ma Jones’ Kitchen.

As our reputation grew, it was always a hoot when someone new would ask to meet and compliment the chef. Expecting an older, more mature, grand- motherly type with white hair, carrying a few extra pounds and wearing knee high stockings, they were ALWAYS shocked when 20 something year old Ma Jones came bouncing out of the kitchen with her apron on. If the band heated up and she could escape for a moment, you would see her on the dance floor kicking up her heels to a high speed version of Rocky Top!

BUT there was a spot on the menu for something extra special even by Ma Jones’ standards. So this is how it went down.

We would be open from 4pm till 3am everyday except New Years when we didn’t close. In the early days we would only get a handful of people for Happy Hour. There was a woman who came in sporadically. She was always dressed up in business attire and we found out she was a traveling sales person. I can’t recall her name but she was around for some of Lin’s pre-menu cook-a-thons.

After 2 drinks she would always tend to get a bit loud in expressing her opinions. She would also brag about a recipe for chicken she had that would make us world famous. We would all smile and nod in agreement like ‘yeah right’. After a few months of hearing this inebriated braggadocio, she caught me in a bad mood. I went back to the kitchen and got Lin, handed her some money and told her to take Ms X to the market and buy whatever she wants.

Lin was about fed up with her tall tales as well so she agreed to go. They were gone for about 30 minutes and returned with 2 big shopping bags. Back to the kitchen they went (with a refill for our friend) and they re-appeared about 30 minutes later with a hot plate stacked high with Buffalo Wings.

Now hold it right there! You all know about Buffalo Wings, right? It’s 2012 and everyone has them on the menu. Bars, Restaurants, Deli’s, Wing joints--- they’re everywhere! But wait a minute Boys and Girls this was 1980 and NOBODY had Buffalo Wings. 99.99999% of the world had never heard of them. If you mentioned them in a bar, it meant getting in a lengthy discussion about how ‘Buffalos Don’t Have Wings’.

AND on top of that no one on the planet can make wings like Ma Jones!

But before I get ahead of myself let me finish the story of Ms X. Apparently her work as a traveling sales person took her to many different places and she would find a ‘watering hole’ in each place to unwind at the end of the day. AND in Buffalo, New York she had stumbled on the place that only a few years earlier had actually invented Buffalo Wings.

What makes the story a bit seedier is that she admitted to us that the way she procured the original recipe was by using her feminine charms to actually seduce a family member who new the secret (a type of undercover work I guess :D). I can’t believe I even got my wife involved with a character such as her (LOL!).

So we passed them down the bar along with the special dip and the carrots and celery… and EVERYONE CHEERED! Dang they were good! To this day I can be explaining Ma Jones’ Wings to someone and I actually can feel myself salivating… just thinking about them. They became a major hit on the Touch of Country menu and to this day I have never tasted a buffalo wing that even comes close to what we had back then.

The sad part is that we sold the place in 1984 along with all of Ma’s original recipes. One of the new owners got caught up in too much alcohol and his partner got way too coked up and the business failed shortly after. A Laundromat now stands where A Touch of Country had shown so brightly.

Over these many years Lin has rarely prepared any of the dishes from that fabulous menu… being busy raising a family and not wanting to be ‘chained to the stove’ again.

Until now!

For Christmas this past year my nephew asked what I wanted as a gift. Since I had changed to a more Primal diet and since some oils are very healthy, I asked for a Deep Fryer. After trying it out on some shrimp, I innocently asked my wife about making some of her buffalo wings. She agreed to coach me through it.

Well Lin slightly modified the recipe and I made them last weekend. You’ve heard the expression ‘finger lickin’ good’ right? Well these wings were way beyond that--- even though you will lick your fingers, some more boldly than others. And I have witnesses who hadn’t been even born during the heyday of Ma Jones.

And get this. With the utter chaos in the nursing business (it’s really a Profession but the people running it have seemed to forget that the priority should be CARE and not Profit), Lin has shown some signs that there is a possibility of a resurgence of the legendary Ma Jones. That’s correct. We are actually discussing her options as an unequaled Cook Of, By and For the People!

Stay tuned… we’ll need some ‘evaluators’ for the different varieties of Ma Jones’ Wings… and that’s a Very Good Thing! :D

Get in Shape for the New Year… WHY???

I’m going to be 59 this year and I’ve been working out for 38 years. I’ve been training people for 28 years. And while there are a few SECRETS to eating and training right, it surely is NOT nuclear physics.

You all KNOW the tremendous benefits of sound nutrition and regular exercise for you and your entire family. Then why the heck are we a country full of mostly fat, sick and poorly conditioned people?

A big part of the answer comes from a book my oldest daughter gave me for Christmas a few years back. It’s probably not part of any course she’s taking in college since it talks about what it means to be a real man and a real woman. This seems to be a touchy subject in our culture and the writer puts it in your face, pulling no punches.

He contends that deep in his heart, every man longs for a BATTLE TO FIGHT, an ADVENTURE TO LIVE and a BEAUTY TO RESCUE. And the longing of the woman is equally exciting as the Great Adventure is SHARED.

I’ll bet that if you had a big reason to REALLY LIVE, then training and eating right to get in shape would have some URGENCY. If you had some BIG DREAMS to chase, you would need your health to be at its optimal.

It’s okay to be angry if you’ve allowed yourself to get swallowed up in a way of life that has sapped your strength and robbed your vitality. Don’t make any ‘doomed to fail’ resolutions or excuses. Develop new HABITS. CHANGE your ATTITUDE and CHANGE the way you THINK… AND you’ll end up in the best shape of your life- Physically, Mentally and Spiritually!!!

I’m always asked about the BEST exercise for to do for troubling body parts. The BEST exercise we can do to start the year is to stop and THINK first. See where you are and what direction you should take. To that end I am offering a free e-gift. Just send me an email and I will send you a tool I have used many times over the years. It will change your life—for the better. Happy New Year!

Russell@MuscleByRussell.org

High School Reunion Time

My High School is having a 40 year reunion in 10 days. I haven’t been to one yet. It’s time to get ready. Weehawken, New Jersey has the best view of New York City. My hometown didn’t have a High School so we got bussed to Weehawken.

My old friend Mario Perillo would always quote ‘Vanity is all!’. I would always laugh but now as the reunion looms, it is a serious matter. What is reflected back by my mirror is not really a natural progression of aging.

At times it scares the bejeezus out of me. Love handles? Mine could give a family of 5 something to hold on to! But I have time to prepare to meet up with my classmates.

1^st I’ll deal with the illusion of a chiseled frame by centering my outfit around the color Black and accessorize with Big Bling to further distract the eye. Next, I’ll restrict my carb intake to cut a pound a day—10 pounds in 10 days. But I’ll be careful to hydrate since the dreaded ‘turkey neck’ would be humiliating.

Hair is always an issue- should I do the Grecian cover up, go chrome, or au natural? Hydrate around the eyes? (I’ll hide my reading glasses unless I REALLY need them.) No facial hair- the Fu Manchu I used to grow now comes in white, makes me look like an old hippie biker dude (and that couldn’t be the me everyone will remember, right?).

If I get my teeth whitened, they might look like a new set of Dentures!

I know that some will consider wearing some tight spandex around the gizzard but I worry about how that might play out. If it pushes the fat up, I might look like I’ve grown some breast-is! If it pushes the fat down, I might have to turn sideways to get my butt through the doorway! Borrowing an old fashioned girdle might push the whole mess even lower and my rubbing thighs would cause sparks when I walk!

This vanity thing takes up a lot more time & energy than I’m willing to give. Sorry Mario, I’m different. I’m just gonna be me-- nothing more, nothing less.

When I meet my old mates, I won’t embellish history with wild exaggerations about the ‘good old days’. I promise not to point to my world-changing accomplishments and how fantastic my children have turned out (well, they REALLY have ya know).

I’ll greet folks with enthusiasm and refrain from saying ‘You look marvelous! You haven’t changed a bit…’

Truth be told I’ve totally changed since high school. The outer change is really minimal when compared to the Tremendous Inner changes that have occurred.

So I guess when I attend the Weehawken High School Class of 1971 40 Year Reunion it won’t really be a reunion at all. My physical image might remind people of someone they once knew but the old me is long gone, just a memory. From my vantage point, it will be an occasion to see if there are any New Friends out there. Hoping it’s a fun time J.

PS- Bill Giorgio has been working out for the last 10 years to get in shape for this… I still think 10 days is enough time for me. (jkjkjk… I saw him last year and he is ‘jacked’… must be that clean livin’ in Colorado)

Apologies, Laughs & Deep Thoughts!

So I’ve been Out of Touch for a bit. Just re-grouping I suppose. There is so much Nonsense information floating around- everywhere on just about every topic. After what we’ve been through, I’m glad to report that there is Hope—more on this soon, I promise.

For now I thought you might get a few laughs and insights from my recent FaceBook postings. It’s tough for us Storytellers to say things in Tweets and short blurbs as required by our fast paced world. But methinks there IS a place--- bye4now…

After last summers miserable #^$&$*$($(% bout with cancer, chemo & radiation, it was awesome to see my wife Lin running and dancing on Sunday!!! What a difference a year makes... build your Faith, keep Hope alive.... DANCE!!! http://www.youtube.com/wat​ch?v=y2SfmcNg8js

Washing cars & Murphy's Law- Since my wife has a penchant for driving her truck on dirt roads, I usually wash our vehicles twice a year. Since there is a Big Wedding in Long Island today, I washed, vacuumed and did the glass. A not-forcasted torrential downpour has been raining on us for the last 5 hours!!! LOL

How's this for Inspiration? My son Russ 'Buddy' Jones is training @ Jay Schroeder s hard core gym in Phoenix with some of the best athletes in the world- he's standing next to this little lady and they start to chat- come to find out who she really is- OMG!!!- 3x cancer conqueror who ran across America by completing a marathon (26+ miles) per day for 93 days in a row covering over 2,500 miles crossing the South in the Summertime! Don't believe me- my new friend is Helene Neville and you can check her out @ http://oneontherun.com/

Aging skin is funny... after you lose fat, your skin doesn't just tighten up right away... It's like its sayin'- 'OK dude, ya got skinnier BUT I'm bettin' yer gonna backslide and get fat again so Why Should I Tighten' Up When You're Just Going To Stretch Me Out Again?' LOL (but the good news is that it eventually gives in and does the 'tighten up') I just dropped 20+ feeling that I didn't need the xtra lbs to do the StrongMan stuff and I would be Healthier--- it came off pretty quick just eating right (my definition :)) I got the biggest laugh putting deodorant on and there was extra armpit skin LOL I called my wife hoping it wasn't some weird disease--- fortunately it eventually tightened up PTL!!!! (btw- she said she would love me even if it didn't tighten)

'When you understand the metabolic effects of eating grains, you’re empowered to make informed decisions about the role grains will have in your diet. You’re free to enjoy good health and self-selected compromises with a clear conscience and full epicurean gusto!' -ms

'A friend holds you up when you stumble... and holds you down when you stray'... jm

5 minute iso wall squat--- Let's hear it for the Old Guys!!! YAY!

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes. -Charles Swindoll

okokokok let me get this straight about our son--- leave home in May and drive to Phoenix to train for 8 weeks- then drive to Raleigh to visit your Grandparents then up to the DC area to fly out of Dulles to be a guest speaker @ a Youth Conference in EGYPT (yeah the one in North Africa!!) then fly back to DC-- get in his car and head North to Jersey (with a few stop offs to visit on the way I'm sure)... when I was 20 I still hadn't been out of New York and Jersey...

uh-oh!!! It's Raining 3's again!!! Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman dropped 4 long range bombs in the Pa. Summer league.... even married life has NOT affected her shooting touch :D lol...

'If his swing were any sweeter, you'd get tooth decay.' -re golfer Rory McIlroy-- ANOTHER shanty Irishman who COULD rule the world!

1973 @ the Joint in the Woods in Parsippany, NJ Gary Cook drove a van load of us to see this new band-- Bruce Springsteen and the E_Street Band... 1st time we heard Clarence Clemons 'live' - he did not disappoint... (there was a bit of a brawl between sets when the dj played disco and security tried to move us from in front of the stage :( ) Were you there???

YOU MUST CREATE AN EXTENSIVE DISTURBANCE OF HOMEOSTASIS IN ORDER TO ELICIT A HIGHER LEVEL OF SUPERCOMPENSATION!!! -JS

hey Nowitzki! Whenever I would miss a lot of shots (rare) it seemed to help if I moved CLOSER TO THE BASKET-- just sayin

‎‎‎‎

For those of you who are wondering there is no such thing as 'old school' 'new school'--- there is only Old School, New Students -BKC (pause and think about that!)

When my son was driving out to Arizona a few weeks back, he HAD to stop in Ohio to visit a teammate... NOW I know why... Really good stuff for anyone battling major illness...

GoMessiah.com - Furm's Take

Our dear friend Patti just lost her Brother after a long battle with $!*&$!($^*!^$ cancer... she posted this song- Awesome!
If you're a prayin' person, shoot a few toward Patti and her Family today... Thanks...

Geoff Moore - When I get where I'm going

the President has dismissed his Economic Guru... let's hope the next one can figure out how to get Gas Prices back to $1.79/gal (amongst other things) I remember pumpin' gas @ Smitty's Sunoco in Secaucus back in the day for 25 cents a Gallon AND I cleaned front and back windshields withOUT asking AND checked your tire pressure if you asked-- for free!!! (but those 25 cent tips were GREAT)

Wag More, Bark Less

"If I left church as changed as sometimes I left Coach Wooden's den, I would be a better person."- Cori Close, UCLA women's basketball coach

John Wooden: One year after Wooden's death, Coach's coaches carry on his legacy - ESPN Los Angeles

My commitment to Truth was unwavering, but my ability to express it in Love left something to be desired-- jm

So we're at a school in Secaucus for the anti-bully assemblies this morning. I’m setting up for the strength feats and Lin getting our sound system dialed in. Well in comes the Principal and he points to the School's sound system which was monstrous.

Lin politely tells him she's more comfortable with our system-- THE next thing we know he CRANKS out We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister and nearly blows me off the stage... It became the Theme Song of the Day with everyone playing Air Guitar and Drums... What a HOOT!!!! Loved the Kids, Teachers and Staff--- Great Day--- There Ain't NoMo Bullies in That School! :)

31 years ago today I 'attempted' to sing this song to my new Bride... my old biker pal from Secaucus Steve McGauley played guitar and harmonized-- while Lin's little brother Hank played guitar as well... although the sentiment was there, based on my performance it's safe to say that my rendition would NOT have gone viral & there would have not been any American Idol invites... LOL

Marshall Tucker Band - "In My Own Way"

How Cool is That? My friend Dennis Rogers son Jay co-wrote 'I Love You this Big' for the new American Idol champ, Scotty McCreery... now that cracks me up because Dennis' son is a Rapper and now he'll make a gazillion $ writing Country Songs! Congratulations!

Lesson from son training in Arizona... I've heard it before but he expressed it with such conviction--- 'PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY' (wait till I tell my wife about what her 'baby' is learning - ouch :D)

Americans will always do the right thing—after they’ve exhausted all the alternatives. —Winston Churchill

Warning! Do not take boiling water from the microwave when 1/2 asleep! There is a good chance it will spill on your belly and burn off a few layers of skin :( If it happens to you, be sure to have a young nurse sleeping down the hallway--- thanks for saving me Honey :D -- a mere flesh wound (or a 'lack of Flesh' wound)... my kids Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman Krissy Jones Russ 'Buddy' Jones are afraid the scarring might show over the top of my SPEEDO when we go to the beach...

Playin' with My Head Dept- had to get my license renewed in Jersey 2day. The lady looks at my Old license and asks 'Would you like to use the Old picture or take a new one?' Well I looked at the Old pic and said to myself 'You look pretty good :D'. I inform the lady that I'll keep the Old picture and Thanks for askin'. But now I'm looking at the new license with the Old pic and I'm not sure it even looks like me :( i'm just concerned that if i get carded, the bouncer won't believe it's really me :)

Soft hands HURT!!!!

Fantastic Birthday! Many laughs including toothpaste drool on my ARPwave shirt-- (drool on one's 58th bday is ill advised :D LOL) Super dinner @ home TOPPED off by a Wifey-HomeMade IceCream Cake-- AFTER 2 servings; OHHHHH MY ACHING GIZZARD :) (breaking out the digestive enzymes)

Shout out to Krissy Jones who worked the late shift yesterday and then got up super-early to make her Momma @ wonderful homemade breakfast from scratch... then it was off to work again--( if you're eating at the Highlawn Pavillion-- Tip Large!!!)

The bliss of hamstring innervation on a Saturday morn :)

No regrets, right??

DISCREET...
1.judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect.
2.showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence.
3.modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious

There is a huge void in our society when it comes to RESPECT. -rj

I'm glad the President shared his birth cert (not)... I'm WAY more concerned about Gas & Food prices :(

Makes sense to me--- 'Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.' – Hub

Some of my older friends are complaining about Gaps in their memory. Gaps are good for a few reasons- some things should be forgotten, they free up active thought processes AND--- Gaps are what friends help 'fill in' (and as we all know, revisionist history is much more fun than what really happened :D)

Father of the Century-- my Pal Tom White (father of 6 daughters) will be seeing the 1st marriage today of one of his girls... I'm sure he slept well last night lol... great father, husband, man--- I know it's not about you today but father-in sure ain't easy when you try to do it right, RIGHT???

B4 'getting in shape', one must get in Position...

He saved my life once... MANY stories to tell... R I P NJ.com : Ed Ford, Jersey City icon and Jersey Journal sports columnist, dies

It's not a chick flick but there were no mass murders, beatings, gratuitous sex or fake driving or fighting scenes either...hmmm--- Inspiring is an over-used description BUT it IS!!!!

www.soulsurferthemovie.com

After all of the great hoops over the last few weeks... the championship game was the UGLIEST I can remember... it's bad when 1 team wins by default...

What darkness? the Light is so bright there are no shadows :D

Truth has no agenda! It just is.

The Weather Channel is predicting another 5-10" of snow starting on Thursday night into Friday... It MUST be an April Fools thing-- RIGHT??? This is New Jersey NOT Colorado-- maybe it's the beginning of another Ice Age...

How did it get like this? I don't trust politicians in general but someone sent me this link--- where does our money go? If this is 1/2 true, it's still unbelievable-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ocVj6UWiDI&feature=email

Lesson from my DOG! Our vet was so exited... our 6yr old dog REV went from 128 lbs to 102 lbs... He looks fantastic and is jumping like a puppy... His Muscular definition is outstanding! AND he's HAPPY :) His motivation was of the negative variety- the guy at the pet store said he was FAT... We're proud of our boy :D

Looking for the next Iron Will Stoneman------

Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. There God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men. -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Jayne Lin Jones-Kauffman is the only person I know on the planet who picked Butler to go to the Final 4.... I hope she shares her winnings with her Papa :D

We don't need a meeting of Really Nice Guys; we need a gathering of Really Dangerous Men___ je

I don’t want to put you in a box or restrict you. But honest talk can smash warped philosophies; tear down barriers erected against truth; and fit every loose thought and impulse and emotion into the structure of life. -rj

'Man Backed into Police Car after Smoking Pot' was a headline in one of the local papers... Apparently, the driver stopped at a STOP sign (good thing right?) and then stalled out his car, re-started it quickly (still good) but then inadvertently shifted into REVERSE (uh oh)... he looked both ways at the STOP- left and right -BUT when he hit the gas he unfortunately went backward into the Police Car... AND then to make matters worse he Failed the Sobriety test AND had to surrender his Pot and his Pipe... more news at 10... ouch... He told the police he was using the Marijuana so as not to get Cancer (not really- but that's what I would have used as my defense:D)

Thanks Russ 'Buddy' Jones for putting a thin piece of tape over the steel V handle... the pain in my hands is exquisite-- I'm sure if it doesn't make me arthritic, I'll be a better man from the experience :D

Just saw Anthony Roblis! WOW!

Nothing like hanging from one's Scapula early on a Saturday morn...

Saw a 350 lb Bear tonight... guess they're waking up--- a whole lot better indicator spring is around the corner than a dumb old groundhog... (even the BEARS get UP for March Madness :))

A brief history lesson on St Patty's Day... very cool... it was given to this Shanty Irishman by another Gerard Gorman... watch it with your family :) http://gerardgorman.weebly.com/2/post/2011/03/happy-st-pattys-day.html

March 15th--- finally able to get the Christmas lights down... what a winter!!! Our dog is still able to 'walk on water'--- pool remains frozen solid :) BUT BUT the Hot Tub IS hot :) The college spring break crew including Krissy Jones and Russ 'Buddy' Jones and friends have tested the waters!!

Did my morning workout THEN my son Russ 'Buddy' Jones came down to train... Methinks I'm really kidding myself-- his warm up was tougher than my entire workout :( (mambypamby land is trying to get me)

HUGE laundry piles in kitchen--- can mean only 1 thing... Spring Break!!!

MS claimed a friend.. he fought the good fight... RIP Ted Doty

Is 2 years too soon to get nostalgic? What a run it was!!!! Keep the dream alive kid;

189lbs Billy George Long Branch- vs. Russel Jones Pope John- | 2009 NJSIAA New Jersey High School Wr

Move over Weight Watchers, there is a new way to lose weight.....It's the "I can't afford to buy groceries to feed myself because I just filled my gas tank" diet. Re-post if you have seen the price of gas. :(

Remember the scene in Braveheart where Robert the Bruce's evil father is whispering lies to him about treason and compromise? He says to Robert what the Enemy says to us in a thousand ways: 'All men betray; all men lose heart'. How does Robert answer? He yells back,
I don't want to lose heart!
I want to believe, like [Wallace] does.
I will never be on the wrong side again .
This is the turning point in his life... and in ours. The battle shifts to a new level. W@H

Thanks to HarryO!!!! A night in My Home Town! Rev the Therapy Dog is posted outside a known gathering place of local hooligans-- ready for action!

Just tried to 1- arm curl Rev the Therapy Dog--- didn't budge him, he rolled his eyes... I know my friend Dennis Rogers can do it :) (no joke)

Those watching for SPRING; be encouraged!!! Rev the Therapy Dog and I went for a walk and even though we had 7" of fresh snow on Monday--- the Brooks and Streams which had been frozen solid are now BABBLING!!!! (couldn't exactly make out what they were saying-- but it's that way with babblers isn't it?)

I KNEW IT dept.--- Dr David explained the difference between the sexes when they shop... Men go on a Hunt; Women go on a Safari (the illustrations had us all howling :))

Ya gotta read this--- he was at our clinic a few weeks back--- someone to
CHEER for!!!
http://www.app.com/article/20110219/NJCOLUMNIST09/102190321/1002/NJSPORTS/Chris-Malleo-is-part-of-a-family-of-believers

Disturbing Trend? It seems that every time my wife kisses me lately-- she immediately pushes me away (while still holding on)... In my mind I'm like 'what is the matter with YOU??? or me??--- then I realized that when we're that close; she can't see me!!!

Took my bride to the NJ Flower Show.... a bunch of happy folks with dirt under their nails... BUT it was refreshing to see a mind-boggling assortment of plant life in full bloom esp after the winter we're having... stark contrast to my hi-tech everyday world for sure...

Lessons from a North Carolina Road Trip

Sorry I’ve been away a while… hope all is well.

Last week my almost 80 year old parents moved out of Secaucus, New Jersey after 77 years. They have taken up residence in Apex, North Carolina to live near one of my sisters. I drove the moving truck with my Dad riding shotgun and Lin followed in my Mom’s car.

Because the truck didn’t go very fast, it took about 11 hours to cover the 600 miles. My sister was a fantastic host and we went to church with her on Super Bowl Sunday.

Now the preacher caught my attention by speaking about the word ‘cumulative’; which I wrote about back in May 2006. Since I felt he did a great job addressing ‘cumulative value’ and ‘cumulative effect’, I’m going to share the highlights.

Maybe I needed to be reminded of it more than you but BY IMPLEMENTING THE IDEAS PUT FORTH HERE MY LIFE HAS ALREADY DRAMATICALLY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.

We all need to learn how to live in such a way that one day we can look back on our lives with as little regret as possible. Always ask the question, ‘What is the wise thing to do?’ It would be awesome to live a regret-free life!

We have ALL the time we need… what are we doing with it???

1- There is a Cumulative Value to investing small amounts of time in certain activities over a long period of time. For example- exercise, your marriage, your children, etc.

2- Neglect also has a Cumulative Effect over a period of time. For example- exercise, your marriage, your children, etc.

3- There are rarely any immediate consequences for neglecting single installments of time in any one area of life. For example- If you are a committed exerciser and you skip a day or 2 or even a week, it will not make a huge difference in the long run.

4- There is no Cumulative Value to the urgent things we allow to interfere with the important things of life (that is why we have regret). Emergencies can literally suck the life out of you.

5- In the important areas of life, you cannot make up for lost time. Where did all the time go and why don’t I have anything to show for it? For example- how often does your family sit down for a dinner where life updates are given and relationships are built? What traits would you hope your children develop? Honesty, Integrity, Honor, and a good Work Ethic would be admirable. Are you taking steps everyday to help develop those traits?

‘Right Now’ is just a phase in your life. In light of your past, present and future, what is the wise thing to do with your time? What do you need to STOP doing? 4 areas to look at are Physically, Relationally, Professionally, and Spiritually.

And if you are not serving somewhere, your life is not balanced. ‘If you want to be Great, Serve!’ –JC

Lin and I took the train from North Carolina back to Jersey. It was an adventure. But at one point we were sitting at a table in one of the cars… big bright windows to the passing scenery, special snacks packed by my sister and some beverages. We had a lengthy discussion about all of the Cumulative things in our lives to this point.

We butted heads a bit and started the process of answering the Questions. Even though it was work, it was well worth the effort. Any activities that lead one to Peace of Mind are worthwhile.

All the best… bye4now…

Gay Student Suicide

Last week a male college student at Rutgers University was caught having sex with another male student in his dorm room. His roommate and a friend recorded the event and broadcast it to a number of other friends on the internet. Apparently the freshman who was ‘caught’ on tape was so distraught that he took his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge which connects New Jersey and New York City.

Both the roommate and the friend were arrested. The family of the deceased grieves.

Many politicians, celebrities, and just regular folks are searching for answers to this tragedy. The media is re-reporting the event every hour because the story has ‘legs’. Of all the 33,000 suicide deaths that occur each year, this one is ‘special’ (or at least that is what we are being led to believe).

Politicians want us to believe that if we just had tougher laws against ‘bullying’ this would not have happened. Some outspoken celebrities scream that ‘this just has to stop here’ and we need to take a stand against those who would bully gays and others as well. Others cry out that we have to be Nice-er and more Civil and more Compassionate.

Lest I am accused of being ‘insensitive’ please let me state that I know 1st hand what the death of a child is all about. And I know 1st hand what bullying is all about.

If bullying is not part of our nature, it is definitely a part of our culture and has been for a very long time. Some would try to put this all in a neat package and call it ‘bullying against gays’. The truth is that bullying crosses all lines- too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too black, too white, too yellow, too foreign, too Christian, too Jewish, too any-other-religion, too old, too young, too poor, too slow, and on and on and on.

There are bullies at school, online, at work, in the military, in government, in sports, in many families, at the store and just about everywhere else. Not only are bullies found in every layer of society, they are SUPPORTED by our culture. Just look at what is passed off as ‘entertainment’. Bullies learn about ‘PUT DOWN’ humor on TV, the movies, the internet and in many homes.

‘PUT DOWN’ humor is voiced by the bully to puff him or her self up.

‘Strong and Tough’ are looked on as desirable qualities for many jobs and in sports. But it is a fine line that crosses over to bullying.

The 2 that filmed the liaisons were arrested. They are freshman in college as well. They probably thought it was the funniest thing to catch someone in a compromising position--- THEY’VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. Oh My Goodness, some of our current stars got ‘discovered’ when PORN videos of them were released online.

I am not defending their immoral act of secretly filming someone but it’s not hard to figure out that a deep sense of morality is not part of their current makeup. Maybe they’ll learn that junior year. I doubt it though, ‘higher education’ usually teaches ethics and morals that are completely subjective.

Since bullies make up a significant percentage of the world, their eradication is not very likely. In fact, eliminating them is pretty much impossible (and you know how I hate to use THAT word). Dominant personalities and the extremely insecure can easily cross over to the dark side.

The solution to bullying can be found. It can start at home—if there is one. The home is where we are bound together in relationship. No relationship, no real family. It’s where boys learn to be real men and girls learn to be real women. It’s where we should feel safe and supported. It’s where we should develop our moral code.

Without real family, both bullying and the fear of bullies most likely will thrive. So being ‘connected’ for people of all ages is vital. With a bit of imagination, we all can become part of a group that could serve as a substitute or at least take up the slack for a dysfunctional family.

Suicide as an answer to anything is truly sad. I lost my best friend in the world to suicide a few years ago. As always when we look back, there were signs. I wasn’t educated enough to recognize what was happening. So many factors go into ‘why’ a person would end their own lives but suffice to say ‘one event’ did not cause it. There are always mitigating circumstances that take a person to that place of no answers and no solutions to their problems.

We were visiting my son at college last week and he invited us to attend church with him on Sunday. We met a 19 year old girl who had seen and heard enough about teen suicide. Her name is Alexa Kylen. She took action. Her website is Please Live - http://pleaselive.org/.

Alexa did her homework. SHE HAS ANSWERS for those who are suicidal and the rest of us as well. She’s helping save lives. Sadly, most of the world will never hear about Please Live. Alexa’s work is rarely publicized in the major media outlets or even taught in families, schools or churches.

As a society we need to value human life during all its stages. And we must continually communicate to those around us the VALUE of 1 LIFE- theirs!

And we as parents and young adults might want to seriously consider the effects of our ‘entertainment culture’ not only on society, but on OUR families and loved ones. Getting pounded with messages and images that demean humanity surely cannot be good for children and probably not for the rest us either.

I’ll be praying for all involved in the Rutgers tragedy. Be encouraged. Bye4now…

Is cancer EVER good?

Not from my perspective. Can good things come out of the experience? I think so but WOW you really have to look for the GOOD THINGS.

Lin, my wife of 30 years, was diagnosed with cancer on April 28^th of this year. We are told its very early stage and very treatable. No one in her family ever had cancer.

Our daughter was getting married on May 22^nd so we decided not to announce it to the world. It would only take away from the great celebration. So we prepared for the wedding and the start of chemotherapy and radiation that would commence on Monday May 24^th.

Even though it seems that just about every family in America has experienced someone close having cancer, I was shocked. I’ve had people around me battle with cancer but it was never my battle. This one is! We’ve been together so long it truly feels as if 2 has become 1! (I know you might not find that in ‘math made ez’).

Thank God we know some knowledgeable folks in the medical field. They helped us navigate but it still was not easy. Get the right cancer Doctor, hope the protocol works the way it should, have a port implanted in your chest, hope the chemotherapy people are experienced and NICE, hope you get the right radiation Doctor, hope the radiation staff has good aim, load up on prescriptions for pain-for nausea-for sleep-for your skin (‘see which one works best’-shrug :(), make 6 weeks of daily appointments in advance, postpone some appointments when your body just can take the ‘cure’ anymore, and through it all keep the ‘WANT TO LIVE’ alive.

Our 1^st visit to the Simon Cancer Center was quite illuminating. The mix of patients was complete- young to old, skinny to fat, short to tall, way-out-of-shape to in-shape, all colors, all genders (I only know of 2).

What the hell was my wife doing here? We’re flippin’ Health Nuts! We buy natural, healthy foods and have a big vegetable garden in the summer. We take supplements- anti-oxidants even. No artificial flavors or colors, no preservatives, no sugar, no chemicals- we try to do it right (except when we don’t :( ). We lead active lives- vigorous activity. Getting plenty of fresh air and keeping a positive attitude round out how we live.

Okay maybe we get stressed out from time to time and maybe we worry a bit but is cancer the punishment for struggling when life is a bit un-manageable?

Maybe Lin got cancer because we grew up in a toxic area of the country or because we didn’t have any real ventilation in the bar we had back in the 80’s or because of acid rain that falls on us from Pittsburgh or because she stands too close to the microwave or from breathing too many exhaust fumes during traffic jams going into New York City or down the Jersey shore- I don’t know! Who does?

We had bought into the promises of having a Healthy Lifestyle. ‘Add more years to your life and more life to your years.’ Is Jack LaLanne-the Godfather of Fitness- a fraud? Jack’s brother lived to be 97 and I don’t know if he ate ‘right’ or even exercised. Do we really need a freakin’ juicer if cancer comes anyway?

I realize that no one gets off this planet alive (except for a few space cadets:)) but life is more than a bit unpredictable.

So after 2 full weeks of 24-hour IV chemotherapy, 30 radiation sessions (4 more to go), going bald, and losing over 20 pounds from a normal of 117, here then are the most positive things I can think of….

-Our children overcame the shock and ‘stepped up’ big-time. Lin and I are so proud to have children who (at least during crisis) actually ‘get it’. Krissy cleaned, cooked, shopped, ran errands and sat with her Mom on the nights she couldn’t sleep because of the pain.

-When he was in town, Buddy contributed like no other time in his life- yard work, house work, wedding prep, and he was a prayer warrior.

-And our newlywed made extra visits home and encouraged her Mom (and me!) daily with prayers and conversations.

-Lin’s friends that she dances with at Church were like the Marines. They were the first to find out and they volunteered and prayed and encouraged and visited.

-After the 1^st month when Lin was really in rough shape, some other folks from Church found out and it was like the Army, Navy and Air Force combined- the Driving Force was Lynn Beattie. Fantastic meals every other day, rides to her treatments, more prayers and even visits from our Senior Pastors- Dr. David and Marlinda Ireland- which encouraged Lin greatly.

-Lin learned how to ‘receive’. Her life has been dominated by her ‘giving’. From caring for me and our children to long term care of some family members to her career as a nurse, she was never the one getting care. Methinks we all need to experience both.

-And we got to have visitors without having to have the house ‘perfect’- everything dusted, vacuumed, mowed, cleaned, polished, etc…. Lin was so sick she didn’t care. I hope she noticed that the folks coming to see her CAME TO SEE HER and not to give our home a ‘white glove test’.

Great News came last week when she was examined by the Oncologist and he declared her cancer-free and that a biopsy in 2 months would prove it.

Thanks to everyone for all the love and support.

We even had 2 very accomplished, very professional people put it all on the line. Each had been reading about the ‘medicinal’ uses of marijuana for people undergoing cancer treatment. They became convinced that it could alleviate Lin’s nausea, pain and lack of appetite. Well the conversations became hysterical as they found ‘suppliers’ and offered to have the stuff delivered. One of them is quoted as saying to her husband, ‘I don’t #%&(@&#%)@ care if it’s illegal and that I can lose my career if I get caught. It’s for Lin and if it will help I’m gonna do it anyway!’. (Don’t try to guess who this was because I’ll NEVER tell!).

I realize that not every person and family has a happy ending to their cancer ordeal. My only answer and hope lies in the Eternal.

And by the way, dealing with Health Insurance is a nightmare that takes away from a patient’s ability to heal. If you ever get sick, have someone else deal with the bills until you are fully recovered.

As my friend David DeNotaris always says, “Make it a Great Day”...bye4now...

PS- the pic on the Left is Before, the pic on the Right is Now--- After pic will be posted in a few months :D